54.Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some say that the support given by
celebrities
to worldwide aid organizations can lead to more
people
being aware of it,
while
others would argue that will decrease the importance of the problem.
This
essay would argue that
although
the
issue
might not be taken seriously, more
people
will be aware of what happened. On the one hand, when famous
people
upload on social media their opinion,
this
certainly helps them to get some media coverage, at the same time, the attention will be more on the celebrity than on the cause.
Also
, since everyone has different opinions, when
celebrities
upload something that they think, their fans will follow it, even if it is wrong. Another case is when there are different opinions,
people
’s attention will only be on the
celebrities
instead
of the
issue
.
For example
, when many
celebrities
have different points of view, a fight will start on social media, in
such
cases, the
issue
will be forgotten.
However
, I believe that in important cases,
people
will know where need them more.
On the other hand
, the intervention of famous
people
in international aid organizations will allow more
people
to be aware of what is happening.
This
is because, many things happen in a day, and sometimes,
people
will think that some problems are not urgent or important.
Then
if famous
people
support it,
then
it will reach more
people
, and the news will gain more popularity.
Also
if some essential products or financial funds need to be donated, by famous
people
’s voice, is easier to obtain those goods.
For instance
, in China when catastrophes happen,
celebrities
will upload photos about the situation and their fans will start donating money or food for those areas with the name of the famous person. I believe that
this
point of view is preferable because more
people
will know about the case and will try to help. In conclusion,
although
sometimes the involvement of
celebrities
can cause the attention to shift to the person
instead
of the case, they can encourage more
people
to help solve the
issue
,
therefore
, I believe that support from
celebrities
toward global aid organizations can better the situation.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, provide a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more effectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated words and phrases. Also, be cautious with grammar and word choice to avoid errors and improve clarity.
grammatical range
Work on expanding your use of grammatical structures and sentence types. Use a wider range of tenses and complex sentences to demonstrate your language proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international aid organizations
  • draws attention
  • less important
  • famous people
  • celebrities
  • volunteer support
  • overshadow
  • dilute
  • sustainability
  • endorsement
  • genuine
  • advocacy
  • deeper understanding
  • engaged
  • informed base
  • committed
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