54.Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #people’s #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

Some say that the support given by

celebrities

to worldwide aid organizations can lead to more

people

being aware of it,

while

others would argue that will decrease the importance of the problem.

This

essay would argue that

although

the

issue

might not be taken seriously, more

people

will be aware of what happened. On the one hand, when famous

people

upload on social media their opinion,

this

certainly helps them to get some media coverage, at the same time, the attention will be more on the celebrity than on the cause.

Also

, since everyone has different opinions, when

celebrities

upload something that they think, their fans will follow it, even if it is wrong. Another case is when there are different opinions,

people

’s attention will only be on the

celebrities

instead

of the

issue

For example

, when many

celebrities

have different points of view, a fight will start on social media, in

such

cases, the

issue

will be forgotten.

However

, I believe that in important cases,

people

will know where need them more.

On the other hand

, the intervention of famous

people

in international aid organizations will allow more

people

to be aware of what is happening.

This

is because, many things happen in a day, and sometimes,

people

will think that some problems are not urgent or important.

Then

if famous

people

support it,

then

it will reach more

people

, and the news will gain more popularity.

Also

if some essential products or financial funds need to be donated, by famous

people

’s voice, is easier to obtain those goods.

For instance

, in China when catastrophes happen,

celebrities

will upload photos about the situation and their fans will start donating money or food for those areas with the name of the famous person. I believe that

this

point of view is preferable because more

people

will know about the case and will try to help. In conclusion,

although

sometimes the involvement of

celebrities

can cause the attention to shift to the person

instead

of the case, they can encourage more

people

to help solve the

issue

therefore

, I believe that support from

celebrities

toward global aid organizations can better the situation.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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task response

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, provide a balanced discussion of both views.

coherence cohesion

Consider organizing your ideas more effectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated words and phrases. Also, be cautious with grammar and word choice to avoid errors and improve clarity.

grammatical range

Work on expanding your use of grammatical structures and sentence types. Use a wider range of tenses and complex sentences to demonstrate your language proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

international aid organizations
draws attention
less important
famous people
celebrities
volunteer support
overshadow
dilute
sustainability
endorsement
genuine
advocacy
deeper understanding
engaged
informed base
committed

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54.Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that television programmes are of no real value for children 2. How far do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion on this

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child‘s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.