IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries are struggling with increasing crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #crime #rates #people #police #streets
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Presently,
due to
Linking Words
 the increasing
crime
Use synonyms
 rate, numerous countries are struggling with it.
Furthermore
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, numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
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individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 believe that the only way to
sovle thie
Correct your spelling
solve this
 solution is to
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 the
numver
Correct your spelling
number
 of police. From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I disagree with
this
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 aforementioned statement as it
also
Linking Words
 could
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
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 by improving the
law
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, and
instralling
Correct your spelling
installing
the a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CCTV
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. One of the reasons which make people still commit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 is that the
law
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 is not strong enough. Changing the
law
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 might be better than hiring
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
show examples
, as people would
Add a missing verb
be scare
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scare
Replace the word
scared
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 to commit the
crime
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.
Furthermore
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, hiring
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
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require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 plenty of money, as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of the bandit would choose to commit the
crime
Use synonyms
 at night time rather than at day time.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there is not that much light, which
would be
Verb problem
makes it
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 easier to commit all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of crimes.
Moreover
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, one of the best technologies for safety categories is
CCTV
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 and it is inexpensive and extremely easy to install.
On the other hand
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, some of the security cameras on the street are false
CCTV
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, and some streets have none at all. It may be more affordable to install actual
CCTV
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 on the street rather than hiring police ,as It couldn't sleep, so it could observe everything at all times and record all the evidence to prove the victim. In conclusion, an
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
crime
Use synonyms
 rate in several
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 might
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
 by installing
CCTV
Use synonyms
 on the street and improving the
law
Use synonyms
 may be more effective ways to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
  
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
 than adding police officers at night time.
Submitted by nattafirm1 on

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coherence cohesion
Develop your main points further and provide more specific examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your main argument.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackle crime
  • crime prevention
  • law enforcement
  • root causes
  • community involvement
  • cooperation
  • innovative technology
  • crime rates
  • social programs
  • education
  • employment
  • support
What to do next:
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