Many people believe that studying at university is the best way to develop oneself, learn new skills and find a well-paid job. Other people believe that more is learned from getting a job straight away after school and learning whilst working.

#people #university #skills #job #school #whilst

Qualification is required for a professional career,

whereas

, some

people

argue that vocational training is enough to make a successful career.

This

essay will discuss both the views and share my opinion. Knowledge helps us to learn more skills.

To begin

with, getting a job is difficult.

People

go to college and university to get a degree so that they can practice in professional jobs for example, students learn medical courses to become a doctor.

Secondly

, Universities help to find an internship for students who want to explore more job options in a competitive market.

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

with advanced knowledge, students feel confident and they can compete in the real world. Skilled jobs are

also

hard to find in society. Working after school is challenging.

Firstly

People

find

Correct pronoun usage

it difficulty

show examples

difficulty

Replace the word

difficult

show examples

to adapt

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

work environment because of no guidance. Every job requires training and assistance.

Secondly

people

feel less confident because they are still in the learning phase and get proper guidance from their peers.

However

, it polishes the skills of young kids and teaches them how to face the world at an early age because an individual starts from scratch and learns the skills that are demanded.

For instance

, experienced

Change preposition

apply

show examples

construction workers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and truck drivers are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

skilled workers in Canada and they are making at $30 an hour.

To Conclude

, I would like to say that both views have different perspectives. I believe if someone wants to build their career in

high paid

Correct your spelling

high-paying

show examples

jobs , they need university qualifications.

However

, some individuals can not afford to pay tuition

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

then

they choose to work after high school and gain experience.

Submitted by lakshaybhatia1350 on Fri Nov 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that there is a clear progression from one idea to the next.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction presents the topic clearly and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

lexical resource

Make use of a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate a stronger command of the English language.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that studying at university is the best way to develop oneself, learn new skills and find a well-paid job. Other people believe that more is learned from getting a job straight away after school and learning whilst working.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

a museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpiad work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work.

Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more roads and widening existing roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?