IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #birth #death #rates #switzerland #nations #statistics #summarise #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates how changed
birth
Use synonyms
 and
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020
according to
Linking Words
 United Nations statistics. Starting with 1970, it is observed that over a
million
Use synonyms
birth
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 cases
registered
Add a missing verb
were registered
show examples
 and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
death
Use synonyms
 cases were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slighltly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 lower than
million
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. In the next decade,
death
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rates
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 left behind
birth
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rates
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 reaching 1,3
million
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, when
birth
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rates
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 stood
unchangable
Correct your spelling
unchangeable
. In 1990, both indices rose slightly, but the
birth
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 rate rose even more and again lagged behind the
death
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 rate. Starting with 2000, there has been only a growth in the
birth
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 rate and only a
deacrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in mortality. In 2000,
birth
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rates
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 reached 2,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and after
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
continuous
 growth, in 2020, they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 3
million
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
upon
Change preposition
to
show examples
 700
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 rose steadily before and after 2000, when there was a
drammatical
Correct your spelling
dramatic
grammatical
 increase.
Besides
Linking Words
,
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 rose steadily before 2000, but after they started to decrease.
Submitted by croownguuard on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, rates, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • fluctuation
  • demographic
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • incremental
  • statistical
  • longitudinal
  • population growth
  • life expectancy
  • fertility rate
  • mortality rate
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
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