"Prevention is better than cure " Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do yo agree?

#prevention #cure #disease #measures #yo

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Nowadays, many people are suffering from many debilitating diseases

such

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cancers

Fix the agreement mistake

cancer

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and diabetes. It is not just an experience of physical suffering, but

also

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involves

financial

Correct article usage

a financial

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burden to individuals and the government through active research and interventions.

Therefore

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, a notion is advanced to educate people that preventing a disease is

beneficial

Correct quantifier usage

more beneficial

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than treating it. Personally, I totally agree with

this

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notion, and

this

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essay will elaborate

Change preposition

on my

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stand.

To begin

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with, many groups thought that financing research and treatment of diseases

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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highly expensive.

Firstly

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, they employ brilliant scientists and knowledgeable medical doctors to perform several experiments for treatments.

For example

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, in the past there

Wrong verb form

was

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no cure

Change preposition

for

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cancer,

however

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due to

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their

deligent

Correct your spelling

diligent

efforts in

researching

Replace the word

research

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, they found numerous ways of dealing with cancer

such

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as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.

Secondly

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

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treating an illness for one person,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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involves specialists or

multi-disciplinary

Correct article usage

a multi-disciplinary

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team to solve a case.

For instance

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, one can have a neurologist, cardiologist, respiratory doctor, endocrinologist and the list goes on.

This

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Change the article

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burden an individual and government can go through as they work hand in hand in

preservation

Add an article

the preservation

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of life.

On the other hand

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, many people believe that it is cost-effective for individuals to focus on preventing terminal sickness. They will just have to invest in

health

Use synonyms

education, which will increase the awareness of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society to a specific condition.

For instance

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, cancer can be prevented through not eating carcinogenic foods, daily exercises, stress prevention, and yearly medical

check-up

Fix the agreement mistake

check-ups

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This

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will stop the cancerous cells

to spread

Change preposition

from spreading

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to different organs of the body.

To conclude

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, as a

health

Use synonyms

professional, I gear towards

Change preposition

apply

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totally supporting efforts in preventing deadly

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

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to manifest

Change preposition

from manifesting

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compared

Change preposition

than

show examples

treating them, especially when finances are involved. Prevention is cost-effective because it involves

health

Use synonyms

education and yearly screening,

while

Linking Words

treatment involves

interdisciplinary

Correct article usage

an interdisciplinary

show examples

team to resolve issues affecting our

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by quimbocerianne on Fri Nov 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific idea or aspect of the topic. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Further develop the introduction and conclusion to provide more context and a strong summary of your stance.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases. Use appropriate synonyms to avoid repetition.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structures and ensure correct use of grammar. Vary sentence lengths to enhance the flow of the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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"Prevention is better than cure " Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do yo agree?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

You visited a hotel last week and left some items behind. Write a letter to the manager stating 1. Details of your stay 2. How important the items are to you 3. How you would want the items to the sent to you

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?