IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter -describe the item you lost -explain how you lost it -tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring to your attention a serious problem I faced during my trip to Canada. Unfortunately, I lost my
smartphone
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 visiting the City Centre Museum. The
smartphone
Use synonyms
 was a Samsung A53 256 Gig, finished in black. I vividly remember that two boys asked me for an address outside the museum. I
also
Linking Words
 showed the location on my
smartphone
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at the
last
Linking Words
 moment, one of them hugged me to appreciate my contribution. Afterwards, when I wanted to take photos at the museum, I realised that l missed my
smartphone
Use synonyms
. I
also
Linking Words
 reported the problem to the police, and they checked the cameras, which showed that the boys had taken it. I would appreciate it if you could cover 90% of the cost of the
smartphone
Use synonyms
, in accordance with the terms of my insurance policy. I
also
Linking Words
 attached the police report to the letter to confirm the problem. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Mohammadreza Hadavi

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task response
Give a little more key information, such as the phone price, the date of the loss, and your policy number. This will make your claim clearer.
task response
State exactly what you want the company to do, for example, pay the amount to your bank account or tell you what other papers they need.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: reason for writing, lost item, how it happened, and your request. Use simple link words like “First”, “Then”, and “After that” to make the story even easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The paragraph about the boys is clear, but it could be split into two shorter parts: what happened and what the police found.
task response
You cover all the main parts of the letter: the item, how it was lost, and what you want the company to do.
task response
Your request for payment is clear and linked to your insurance terms.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs and a suitable opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use time words such as “However”, “Afterwards”, and “when” to show the order of events.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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