You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter •describe the item • explain where and when you left it • say what action you would like the company to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#item #value #train #railway #company #•describe #action #addresses #sir #madam

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you that I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lost my item on the Bogor train line on 2nd November. I had brought my

handbag

Use synonyms

with white running shoes and

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

towel inside it when I took the train

this

Linking Words

morning. The

handbag

Use synonyms

is blue with a whitelist and

“NIKE”

Correct article usage

a “NIKE”

show examples

word on it. I departed from Jakarta Kota station at 7.30

Correct your spelling

a.m

. I was in the first carriage, only for

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

, and put my

handbag

Use synonyms

in the luggage rack.

Then

Linking Words

, I dropped off at Tanjung Barat station and forgot to bring back my

handbag

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I would be grateful if your team would find and keep it for me. If my item has been placed in safekeeping, please inform me where I can retrieve the bag by sending the message to 07654321. Thank you for

your

Change the word

the

show examples

time to consider my report. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, Aliya Fahira

Submitted by work.shabrinawarastri on Fri Nov 03 2023

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lexico-grammatical

"The handbag is blue with a whitelist and 'NIKE' word on it." Instead of 'whitelist', use 'white list'.

task achievement

Consider including more specific details about the item and its contents.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure coherence between the last paragraph and the rest of the letter.

grammatical range

Review sentence structure and grammar throughout the letter.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

157 words

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