The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese (too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese (too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015.
The bar
chart
shows the information on ratio of adults who were overweight or obese in one country between 1965 and 2015.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
rate
in 2015 was the highest
percentage
of all rates and the
rate
in 1965 was the lowest
percentage
.
First
of all, in the
first
20 years between 1965 and 1985, the percentages were nearly the same, it can be seen the percentages of three rates which were not changed at
this
time. In 1995,
however
,
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
first
time after 30 years the
chart
shows the
first
rate
in 1965, it increased by 10%, up from nearly 50% to over 60%. At
this
moment, the
rate
tended to increase in the near future. In 2005, it went up to over 70%,
this
percentage
can show that being overweight was a problem which is uncontrolled. In 2015, it was 80% and that was the highest
rate
of all percentages. After 50 years the
first
rate
had appeared in the
chart
, and the
rate
increased by nearly 40%, it was the ratio that needed to be resolved in the near future. Looking back at the
chart
, in the near future, the
percentage
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
increase more and more and we need to find a solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
that problem.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, rate, percentage, first with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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