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Today there is a great increase in Anti Social personal behaviour such as committing a crime. What are the cause of these? Who should be responsible for the problem?

#behaviour #crime
In
this
 day and age, unethical and antisocial individual actions have increased. I will
put
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the light on two important reasons behind
this
 case in
this
 essay below.
Firstly
 who have
an
Correct article usage
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traumatized childhood memories can intend to do
such
 types of
activities
 which leads to increased violence in the society where we
living in
Wrong verb form
live
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. Apparently, a moderate percentage of people encounter abusive behaviour in their childhood whether from school or family. In a family where
children
 suffer from extreme and strict restraint rather than supportive behaviour, punished every time for disobedience
instead
 of explaining right and wrong, there is a high possibility these
children
 will be arrogant in the near future.
In addition
, if
children
 face continuous bullying from their classmates in school
also
 creates agitation within them that engenders arrogance which leads to criminal
activities
 in society.
Secondly
, modern technologies
also
 play a crucial role in rising antisocial
activities
 in our surrounding areas. We believe advancement in
technology
 is a blessing. But the people who have ethical scarcity
,
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apply
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 may use
this
technology
 for illegal purposes. At present cyber crime is increasing like a spider web. Parents or other family members who spend less time with their
children
 on the pretext of busyness,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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provide smart devices to calm which indirectly has an adverse effect on their mental development. On the internet, it is easy to access prohibited sites which endangers their ethicality.
This
 incident influenced them to
involve
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engage in
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 immoral
activities
. No single person can be blamed for these emerging situations. Family
as well as
 government should be more careful in the development of
Children
 and teenagers.
Family
Add an article
The family
show examples
 have to pay extra attention in regard to their mental and ethical well-being. The government should lay down rules and regulations to follow up misuse of
Technology
.
To sum up
, many particulars are responsible
behind
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for
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 antisocial personal behaviour. For one thing, family avoidance of
children
's development and humiliated school environment plays a vital role. Another mishandling of
technology
 can influence criminal
activities
 in society. Family and government both have to take the necessary initiative to lessen
this
 phenomenon.
Submitted by farzana.acce13 on

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task response
Your ideas are generally clear and relevant to the topic. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay. Make sure to introduce and conclude your essay effectively.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is adequate, but you can enhance it by using a wider range of words and expressions.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but watch out for some errors in sentence structure and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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