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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people #lives
It is argued by many that the betterment of human
lives
 should be the main focus of scientific knowledge and applications.
While
 I understand the necessity of
science
 in elevating the standard of living of people, I believe
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
show examples
 domain should not be limited to
this
.
This
 essay will explain why I only partially agree with the statement.
Firstly
, since humans are the ones who work with
science
, it would seem logical if
science
 was primarily utilized to improve their
lives
. Universally, there are millions of people who experience substandard living conditions, even devoid of basic needs. If scientific applications are concentrated in fields like agriculture, medicine, and transport, these people might be able to obtain a better livelihood. The advancement of technologies will
also
 benefit the ones who are already in better conditions by making their everyday life easier. Having considered all that, it is important to understand that if the primary goal of
science
 is to enhance human
lives
, other aspects of our living world will be deprived of its utility.
For example
, more research needs to be diverted into the advancements of ecological
science
 in order to preclude the extinctions of multiple species, some of which are essential to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 the diversity of the gene pool.
Moreover
, other fields
such
 as environmental technology
also
 need attention. A recent study published in Elsevier showed that the rate of depletion of groundwater levels in South Asian countries is alarming, and needs balancing to ensure sustainability.
Therefore
, it can be seen that the focus of
science
 should
also
 be expanded over the other elements of the earth.
To conclude
, I do not fully concur with the notion that the main goal of
science
 should be the enhancement of human
lives
 because the utility of
science
 should be more diverse so as to meet the requirements of our planet.
Submitted by arefinneloy1 on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task prompt. You present a balanced view on the statement and provide valid arguments to support your viewpoint. Well done on addressing the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion. Your ideas are well-organized and flow smoothly from one point to another. Good job on the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
lexical resource
You have used a range of vocabulary effectively throughout your essay. Your word choice is varied and appropriate for the context. Keep up the good work in expanding your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is impressive, with only a few minor errors. You demonstrate a good command of sentence structures and effectively use complex sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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