IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every year numerous
students
Use synonyms
 fly abroad to pursue their higher studies far from their hometown. Some people claim that it is not a worthy decision for parents to send their children abroad to study.
However
Linking Words
, many of them believe that it has a plethora of advantages. In my opinion, it is a wise decision for
students
Use synonyms
 who intend to go too far away from the places where they live for many reasons. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides later on. On the one hand, studying not only outside of the country but
also
Linking Words
 outside of the hometown in the same country can make the altruists uncontrollable. Some
students
Use synonyms
 make many friends, want to enjoy their lives in another way, and want to keep themselves far away from their studies which would hamper their future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they make worse results.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 take drugs because they are not under the guidance of their parents. The research concluded that almost 80% of the
students
Use synonyms
 failed in universities only because of staying far from their homes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can not be denied that studying in another place outside the hometown can
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 cultural diversities, quality education, and network opportunities. Many parents want to send their kids outside their home country to complete their university education. In abroad, they provide quality education which puts the
students
Use synonyms
 forward in the job market.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they can cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the cultural diversities
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different countries.
Hence
Linking Words
, their networking opportunities have grown
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and global contact has boosed up. Research shows that, every year about 100000
students
Use synonyms
 from Asia go to North America to pursue their bachelor's and master's degrees. Gradually the number has grown only because of the success rate in the job market. In conclusion, going to another place for studies
is getting
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 very common recently. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 is incremental to before because of its bunch of benefits which can not be denied.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of studying far away from one's hometown.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and provide appropriate transitions between ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and sophisticated. Use academic and formal language when appropriate.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. Review the use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: