The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
need to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their basic needs,
such
as food,
health
, and trade, which are provided by the
government
. I completely agree that the
government
should provide for basic needs, and the reasons will be explained below. The
government
has regulations that
people
need to pay taxes every month to develop their city, which means all the support facilities are provided by them.
This
regulation
will have the impact that the
government
needs to manage its income to provide for citizen needs.
Thus
, the subsidy system will support
this
regulation
.
For instance
, the older
people
, who have limitations on their opportunities to work
besides
Replace the word
beside
show examples
their need to provide for the basic needs of the family, equally, the
regulation
, like a subsidy, will improve the basic need for
inhibitant
Correct your spelling
inhabitant
locals in the area for which the
government
is responsible. The
government
, as a whole, needs to have a strategy to improve the lives of older
people
who want to work with easy
regulation
. The basic need is to provide the important things that
people
need,
such
as nutrients and
health
access. The
government
also
needs to provide free access to
health
systems,
such
as allowing
people
who have the disease to go to the hospital for free.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
, which are a vulnerable group, have a risk of
non-coomicable
Correct your spelling
non-communicable
diseases, which means they need to have more
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
in the hospital. The
government
, as a
regulation
, needs to have good management for
this
to be free for
people
.
To sum up
, the
government
should provide important needs
such
as food and
health
access for the local
people
, which are basic needs because the
people
also
invest money in the
government
. So, with
this
regulation
, I think
people
will feel safe and always support each other.
Submitted by nazhif27 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction gives a clear understanding of your stand on the topic. However, it would have been more effective to incorporate a brief background of the issue. Your conclusion is a bit weak and could be improved by summarizing key arguments and reinstating your viewpoint more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured to a fair extent. However, it is essential that arguments build upon each other. Make sure the transition between ideas is smoother and that one point logically leads to the next. This will give your essay a more coherent structure.
Task Achievement
You managed to answer the task, providing a position and explaining reasons in support. However, to give a complete response, it would be beneficial to also consider the opposite viewpoint (even if briefly) before concluding why you agree with the statement. This demonstrates your ability to think critically.
Clear and Relevant ideas
You've done well at introducing clear and relevant ideas, using appropriate examples. Keep honing this skill and ensure to elaborate your examples for clarity and impact.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic income
  • financial security
  • unemployed
  • poverty
  • support
  • discourage
  • economic growth
  • taxes
  • budgetary strain
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