IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
The education field for the young generation is a controversial topic. The majority of people strongly believe that they ought to decide about their major.
While
, others argue that their decision must be limited to useful subjects for the
future
,
such
 as related
topics
 to
science
 and technology. I vehemently hold the view that
students
 must be free in
this
 nation
due to
 their passion for that field and the diversity of
jobs
 in the
future
. A number of proponents and I firmly believe that schoolers would be motivated in
future
 if they made the decision about their major and brought a variety of
jobs
 in
future
.
In other words
,
students
' choice is based on their interests when they want to make a decision about what they want to study at university.
Consequently
, they go through the
future
 with interest which allows them to stay on the road.
Moreover
, the variety of majors will lead to different
jobs
 in
future
 that societies may need at that time but they are not conscious yet.
For instance
,
although
 in the digital age, the trend line technological subjects is high Japanese
students
 are enthusiastic about history and art fields which do not have value these days but may be crucial in
future
.
On the other hand
, some may claim that
students
 ought to choose
topics
 that are related to
science
 or cutting-edge technologies which are necessary
due to
 better job opportunities they might have in
future
. They assume that if teachers guide schoolers about
science
 or technology
topics
 they will have guaranteed seats in the big corporations.
As a result
, they will find a job easier than the others.
However
,
this
 notion was simply overlooked and did not pay attention to
students
' desires which is a vital function when it comes to making decisions about their
future
.
To sum up
, The majority of advocates and I strongly believe that children must be free about the major that they want to study
due to
 their strong motivations and diversities of
jobs
 and knowledge in
future
while
 some argue that their decisions should be restricted to
science
 and technology
topics
.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed and provide a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize the ideas logically with clear topic sentences and connections between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures, especially complex and compound sentences, to showcase grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: