IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The qualities and skills that people require to be successful in today’s world cannot be learned at university or at other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#qualities #skills #people #today’s #world #university #institutions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, Video
Games
Use synonyms
 have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 human life. They can improve knowledge of History, Maths, etc.
However
Linking Words
, there are a lot of
games
Use synonyms
 which are useless.
That is
Linking Words
 why I want to talk about it in detail. On the
right
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 you don’t need teachers to study. It’s a big advantage because if people have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good motivation
it’s
Correct pronoun usage
there’s
show examples
 no need to spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the teachers, just pay once and begin to study.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people can study anytime. It’s a big advantage because always learning
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
time
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 table is difficult.
On the other hand
Linking Words
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 your body makes worth during studying sessions because of
small
Correct article usage
the small
show examples
 monitor and posture sitting. The second is that amount of people play useless
games
Use synonyms
 that can’t help you in studying. It slows down
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 gaming industry but makes entertainment better. Between
games
Use synonyms
 and
films
Add a comma
films,
show examples
 I prefer films so I don’t understand what is going on in
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 I can say that for me
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
has
Verb problem
make
show examples
 more sense. Because I am
teenager
Add an article
a teenager
show examples
 and sometimes I have problems with motivation. And
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 me makes sense
improvement of
Wrong verb form
to improve
show examples
 my body in
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 and have classes
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
The essay requires a clear opening statement with a thesis that addresses the given prompt. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are present and well-developed.
Logical Structure
Focus on presenting and developing a logical structure throughout the essay. Make sure your ideas are organized and connected coherently.
Vocabulary
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases to express your ideas. Avoid relying on repetitive language.
Grammar
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy, including sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles, prepositions, and punctuation.
Task Response
Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt and present a complete and well-developed response. Provide clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: