Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports. Others, however, say people have the freedom to make their own decisions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate on whether dangerous
sports
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should be prohibited or not.
While
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it is beneficial to limit access to these
activities
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for
citizens
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, I would contend that they can benefit more from giving people more freedom to decide whether they want to take part in these
sports
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or not. On the one hand, there are several compelling arguments to support these proponents holding that it is reasonable to ban these dangerous
sports
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.
To begin
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with, banning participation can reduce the possibility of accidents among these risk-takers because these
sports
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are usually associated with higher occurrences of fatalities and injuries without being known by their participants. If the government took the responsibility to restrict the behaviour, it not only would safeguard the safety and security of their
citizens
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but
also
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reduce related costs of governments including healthcare costs.
Second,
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this
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prohibition
further
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can reduce the imitation of teenagers, who are in their adolescence and are vulnerable to being influenced by the external world.
For example
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, they are more likely to imitate the risky behaviour posted on YouTube regardless of the risks involved, which would pose a severe threat to their lives.
However
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, I do believe that it is more desirable and reasonable to enable individuals to decide whether they want to take part in these risky
activities
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.
Firstly
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, allowing people to make their own decisions is beneficial for them to be responsible for their choices in the future. To be more specific, those participants are usually fully aware of the potential risks involved and have the capacity to shoulder the consequences once they fail. Under
such
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circumstances, giving them more freedom to do these
sports
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what they like seems to be reasonable.
Besides
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, some participants especially those who are passionate about these
activities
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usually consider them as methods to discover and challenge themselves.
For instance
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, those skydivers can reap a stronger sense of achievement and fulfilment since they can boost their dopamine level largely after completing
this
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risky behaviour. In conclusion, it is true that banning hazardous
sports
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can bring plenty of advantages to
citizens
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.
However
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, I would argue that it is more reasonable and realistic to give autonomy to
citizens
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themselves because these outdoor
activities
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are sources of self-discovery and can provide them with a sense of satisfaction.
Submitted by 52YANGYANG on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Consider providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarizing the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Well done in providing a clear and complete response to the task. Your ideas are supported and well-developed throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and appropriate for the topic. Consider incorporating a wider range of synonyms to further enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, with few errors. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure all sentences are well-formed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dangerous
  • Banning
  • Freedom
  • Decisions
  • Protecting
  • Harm
  • Healthcare systems
  • Resources
  • Safety
  • Risks
  • Personal freedom
  • Individual responsibility
  • Entertainment
  • Economic benefits
  • Personal growth
  • Challenge
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