IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december #summarise #features #comparisons
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The tables compare the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 and daytime hours in two big cities
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the 28th until the 30th of December 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the weekend, the sun rose and set
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time in both cities.
Although
Linking Words
, London received the biggest
temperature
Use synonyms
 gap
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the 29th,
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 in the 30th. In
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the sun rose early in the morning at the average time
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5.45 a.m.,
while
Linking Words
 it set
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a little past 8 p.m
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Whereas
Linking Words
, London's daytime was almost twice shorter than
Sydney
Use synonyms
 which is 8 hours of daylight
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average. People who live in London
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 experienced a big difference in
temperature
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Saturday,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it reached its highest and lowest throughout the weekend, 13 and 3
degrees
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 respectively. The other
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two days and nights were at an average of 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 and 5
degrees
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
's average maximum and minimum
temperature
Use synonyms
 was at 29
degrees
Use synonyms
 and 18
degrees
Use synonyms
 respectively, when
Suday
Correct your spelling
Saturday
 was the hottest and Friday was the coldest.
Submitted by gabriellaamadeaa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, sydney, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "set" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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