Some people believe that unpaid company services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A plethora of individuals think that volunteering should be obligatory for the school curriculum.
This
essay completely agrees with this
statement, because thus
, children will learn crucial things like why helping is so important. Moreover
, it will give them an advance when it comes to a future job or university.
Helping people in need is a sufficient part of the world. If a
free assistance is mandatory Remove the article
apply
to
students in high school, Change preposition
for
then
they will get involved in things like beneficence or community progress with their hearts and will someday become good members of the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, I was a member of a voluntary group that educated unprivileged kids in music and art for free twice a week. Over 40% of those children got the help they needed and now they are successful artists. That experience made me realize how useful I can be for other men and women and now I aim to help more and more individuals every day.
On the other hand
, those
Correct determiner usage
this
assistances
will definitely be appreciated Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
from
future colleges or employers. Nowadays, a number of graduates are fighting for a single spot in a university or a company. A good way to Change preposition
by
outstand
is by showing that you can be involved in other Verb problem
stand
persons
Change noun form
people's
problematics
and, Replace the word
problems
furthermore
, that you want to do something good for them and do it for free. For instance
, "Pharma star
", a pharmaceutical company in Copenhagen says that there is a 65% bigger chance to hire someone who was a part of some charity group, as providing Capitalize word
Star
a
patient service is one of the main obligations that a pharmacist has.
In conclusion, I think that volunteering has many more advantages Correct article usage
apply
that
the opposite, not only in personal, but Correct word choice
than
also
in professional aspect.Submitted by delulcheva on
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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complete response
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logical structure
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure variation.
Your opinion
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