Some people believe that unpaid company services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #company #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

A plethora of individuals think that volunteering should be obligatory for the school curriculum.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement, because

thus

, children will learn crucial things like why helping is so important.

Moreover

, it will give them an advance when it comes to a future job or university. Helping people in need is a sufficient part of the world. If

Remove the article

apply

show examples

free assistance is mandatory

Change preposition

for

show examples

students in high school,

then

they will get involved in things like beneficence or community progress with their hearts and will someday become good members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

For instance

, I was a member of a voluntary group that educated unprivileged kids in music and art for free twice a week. Over 40% of those children got the help they needed and now they are successful artists. That experience made me realize how useful I can be for other men and women and now I aim to help more and more individuals every day.

On the other hand

those

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

assistances

Fix the agreement mistake

assistance

show examples

will definitely be appreciated

from

Change preposition

show examples

future colleges or employers. Nowadays, a number of graduates are fighting for a single spot in a university or a company. A good way to

outstand

Verb problem

stand

show examples

is by showing that you can be involved in other

persons

Change noun form

people's

show examples

problematics

Replace the word

problems

show examples

and,

furthermore

, that you want to do something good for them and do it for free.

For instance

, "Pharma

star

Capitalize word

Star

show examples

", a pharmaceutical company in Copenhagen says that there is a 65% bigger chance to hire someone who was a part of some charity group, as providing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

patient service is one of the main obligations that a pharmacist has. In conclusion, I think that volunteering has many more advantages

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

the opposite, not only in personal, but

also

in professional aspect.

Submitted by delulcheva on Sat Nov 04 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Make sure to clearly state your stance on the issue in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion.

supported main points

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.

complete response

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses the task prompt effectively.

logical structure

Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected to one another. Consider using more transitional phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

lexical resource

You have used a range of vocabulary effectively in your essay. Continue to expand your vocabulary and use it accurately.

grammatical range

Your grammar is generally accurate. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure variation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that unpaid company services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?