All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

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in the

cutting edge

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cutting-edge

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era overweight and obesity becoming major

cause

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causes

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for

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many young kids and adults

this

essay will explicate problems

such

as having

a junk food

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junk food

a portion of junk food

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and

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impacting

imapcting on

Verb problem

affecting

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lifestyle

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along with

alongwith

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along with

some solutions

to begin

with one of the main major

problem

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problems

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overweight

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being overweight

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is having junk food

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, in other words,

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in other words

individuals who are getting foods and

baverages

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beverages

from different franchise may have

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a lot

alot

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a lot

of salt and other spices they may result in gaining weight

due to

it they attract

large

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a large

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number of people through advertisement and social posters

for instance

according to

research conducted by google

servey

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survey

most of

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Indian

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indian

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the indian

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students may feel dizzy during their study which

result

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results

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in bad conduct of discipline and getting bad grades in their curriculum to mitigate

this

issue parents should spend some time with their kids and make them

compell

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compelled

to play physical games that will result in burning some calories another

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issue

isuue

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issue

is having

impact

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an impact

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on lifestyle to elaborate it

due to

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the

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advancement of technology

such

as having different social apps which attract them most of the

times

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time

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people get everything easily to their door steps without having a walk for

while

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a while

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to cite an example most developed countries introduce new ideas and technology that ease the lifestyle of

human

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the human

a human

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being through the invention of internet everything is accessible now

to conclude

obesity

put

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has

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a bad impact on any age of human government and

educational

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the educational

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sector should introduce

such

scheme

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schemes

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that

make

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makes

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them pull toward the burning of fats and make the living worthwhile

Submitted by abdulahad08600 on Sat Nov 04 2023

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The essay does not fully address the given task and lacks coherence in presenting ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay needs more development and support for the main points.

task achievement

The essay lacks specific and relevant examples to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health

In many countries children are engaged in some kid of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong,while other consider it as valuabl work .what is your opinion?

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open area of towns and cities than to bulid more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.