All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?
in the advancement of technology
cutting edge
era overweight and obesity becoming major Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
of
many young kids and adults Change preposition
for
this
essay will explicate problems such
as having a junk food
and Remove the article
junk food
a portion of junk food
Correct your spelling
impacting
imapcting on
lifestyle Verb problem
affecting
Correct your spelling
along with
alongwith
some solutions
Correct your spelling
along with
to begin
with one of the main major problem
of Change to a plural noun
problems
overweight
is having junk foodAdd a missing verb
being overweight
Add the comma(s)
, in other words,
in other words
individuals who are getting foods and baverages
from different franchise may have Correct your spelling
beverages
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
of salt and other spices they may result in gaining weight Correct your spelling
a lot
due to
it they attract large
number of people through advertisement and social posters Change the article
a large
for instance
according to
research conducted by google servey
most of Correct your spelling
survey
Change the capitalization
Indian
indian
students may feel dizzy during their study which Add an article
the indian
result
in bad conduct of discipline and getting bad grades in their curriculum to mitigate Change the verb form
results
this
issue parents should spend some time with their kids and make them compell
to play physical games that will result in burning some calories
another Correct your spelling
compelled
Correct your spelling
issue
isuue
is having Correct your spelling
issue
impact
on lifestyle to elaborate it Add an article
an impact
due to
Correct article usage
the
such
as having different social apps which attract them most of the times
people get everything easily to their door steps without having a walk for Fix the agreement mistake
time
while
to cite an example most developed countries introduce new ideas and technology that ease the lifestyle of Correct article usage
a while
human
being through the invention of internet everything is accessible now
Add an article
the human
a human
to conclude
obesity put
a bad impact on any age of human government and Verb problem
has
educational
sector should introduce Add an article
the educational
such
scheme
that Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
make
them pull toward the burning of fats and make the living worthwhileChange the verb form
makes
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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coherence and cohesion
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task achievement
The essay lacks specific and relevant examples to support the arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
