Some people feel that success lies in achieving professional and economic targets, while others say that success lies in spending quality time with family and friends. What is your opinion?

The impact of

success

Use synonyms

has sparked major controversy in society.

While

Linking Words

some people believe that

success

Use synonyms

lies in spending quality

time

Use synonyms

with family and friends might bring several advantages, others claim that the opposite holds true.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and

thus

Linking Words

lead to a logical conclusion.

First,

Linking Words

there are numerous reasons why

success

Use synonyms

lies in spending quality

time

Use synonyms

with family and friends might bring several advantages, but the most important one stems from the fact that endeavours and

hard-work

Correct your spelling

hard work

show examples

will play a vital role in life and target. As a matter of fact, determination and perseverance will offer tons of benefits to developing yourself and a successful career.

According to

Linking Words

a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University, accomplishment

significant

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

and words of encouragement will greatly contribute to giving us more resources and opportunities.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, some people adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that professional targets may have negative impacts on less

time

Use synonyms

and

mentally

Replace the word

mental

show examples

worn out

Verb problem

health

show examples

. To be more precise, the disadvantages of a failed economy might be

due to

Linking Words

inappropriate strategy.

For instance

Linking Words

, the downsides of relationships and harsh competitive influence are critical. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that

success

Use synonyms

lies in spending quality

time

Use synonyms

with family and friends might bring several advantages.

Klein_shy

Nov 4, 2023

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complete response

You should provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

logical structure

Make sure that your essay has a clear logical structure.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented.

supported main points

Provide more supporting details for your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

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