Some people feel that success lies in achieving professional and economic targets, while others say that success lies in spending quality time with family and friends. What is your opinion?

The impact of
success
has sparked major controversy in society.
While
some people believe that
success
lies in spending quality
time
with family and friends might bring several advantages, others claim that the opposite holds true.
This
essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion.
First,
there are numerous reasons why
success
lies in spending quality
time
with family and friends might bring several advantages, but the most important one stems from the fact that endeavours and
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
will play a vital role in life and target. As a matter of fact, determination and perseverance will offer tons of benefits to developing yourself and a successful career.
According to
a recent study conducted by reputable researchers at Sydney University, accomplishment
significant
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and words of encouragement will greatly contribute to giving us more resources and opportunities.
Nevertheless
, some people adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that the opposite holds true. It is largely attributed to the fact that professional targets may have negative impacts on less
time
and
mentally
Replace the word
mental
show examples
worn out
Verb problem
health
show examples
. To be more precise, the disadvantages of a failed economy might be
due to
inappropriate strategy.
For instance
, the downsides of relationships and harsh competitive influence are critical. In conclusion,
while
there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that
success
lies in spending quality
time
with family and friends might bring several advantages.
Submitted by Klein_shy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

complete response
You should provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
logical structure
Make sure that your essay has a clear logical structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented.
supported main points
Provide more supporting details for your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: