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Band 7.5

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The pressure on young people to excel academically in today's competitive world is undeniable. Many argue that to meet these demands, non-academic subjects like physical education and cooking should be eliminated from the school curriculum, allowing students to focus solely on academic pursuits.
However
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, I totally disagree with
this
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 perspective.
Firstly
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, non-academic subjects teach important skills. Physical activities teach teamwork, discipline, and the importance of physical health. Cookery classes instil valuable life skills, encouraging self-sufficiency and promoting a balanced diet. These skills are an integral part of life, equipping children with practical knowledge beyond textbooks.
Secondly
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, each individual has their own talents. Some excel academically, but some discover their talents in other fields.
For instance
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, a person struggling in mathematics might find confidence in sports or cooking. An athlete or a chief can have a reputation and a successful career. Learning a variety of things gives
such
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 students the opportunity to shine and find their positions.
Hence
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, we need to respect their abilities.
Finally
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, learning different fields rather than academic ones can contribute to making a round person. Regular physical activity enhances concentration and reduces stress, potentially improving
overall
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 academic performance. Cooking or other similar courses can help to expand the view of students about different jobs.
Therefore
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, it is important to learn about the other courses as well. In conclusion, non-academic subjects play important roles in school pedagogy for several reasons. Eliminating these study courses would be detrimental to the holistic development of young individuals. A balanced education prepares people not just for exams but for life.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a restated thesis in your conclusion for clarity and effect.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop each paragraph with one main idea, ensuring it is clearly stated in a topic sentence and supported with specific examples or further explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion
Always include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively; each should directly address the question and summarise your main points.
Task Achievement
Cover all parts of the task. Make sure you answer the question fully, providing an opinion where asked, and address all issues required by the task.
Task Achievement
Use a range of structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. Examples should be specific and directly related to the points being made; avoid too general statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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