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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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The given chart shows that Indonesia
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 stable every year. And in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 it would
be raise
Change the verb form
be raised
show examples
 by
predictions
Use synonyms
.Thailand
approximately
Rephrase
has been
show examples
 standing on one level all the years, but at the start of 2030 it
gonna
Wrong verb form
is going to
show examples
 be
extrimely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 raise in peop;
e
Correct your spelling
the
 population in cities.Malaysia raising only up for each year,
include
Change the form of the verb
including
show examples
 the future
predictions
Use synonyms
.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 most unstable
compare
Replace the word
compared
show examples
 to other countries. The statistics that
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 Malaysia and Indonesia
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 each other, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
both had
uncertain
Add an article
an uncertain
the uncertain
show examples
 start and after 1990,(40% and 20%) had
Correct article usage
an extremely
show examples
extremely
Change the word
extreme
show examples
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the percantages
show examples
percantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in cities. And both their
predictions
Use synonyms
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that in the future they
gonna
Wrong verb form
are going to
show examples
 only mount. Thailand after every
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in 20 years, goes to stable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next 30 years, based on
diagram
Add an article
the diagram
a diagram
show examples
. After the big rise in
1990
Add a comma
1990,
show examples
 the statistic went stable until 2020. Phillipines at the start had the biggest rise
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other countries , but went down sharply till
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2010. And after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it was slowly going up, and
according to
Linking Words
predictions
Use synonyms
 it is 
also
Linking Words
 going only

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words predictions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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