IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #life #luck
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Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 believe that
,
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apply
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a
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apply
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someone
complete
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completes
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 their targets in their lifetime most probably on their luck. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
Linking Words
this
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in this
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 essay
i
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I
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 will argue with
this
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 statement considering
the
Correct your spelling
that
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people
Use synonyms
 work hard to achieve their
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
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 and some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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behavior changers to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 achievements. On the one hand, if
people
Use synonyms
 need to reach some achievement, they work hard to reach the final destination. Hard
working
Replace the word
work
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 is the best option to complete whether personal or career
life
Use synonyms
 targets. In
this
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 regard they change their
freely
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free
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Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 and, every moment they are
in
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at
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 the target and
also
Linking Words
 manage their time to reach
to
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apply
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the point. As an example, Kumar Sangakkara who was
the
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a
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 former cricketer in Sri Lanka
,
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apply
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 had played 300 balls
evryday
Correct your spelling
every day
 himself using the balling machine to practice for the
oneday
Correct your spelling
one-day
one day
 cricket matches.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 have some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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behaviors
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behaviours
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 in their
life
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 and they have to change that
kind
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kinds
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 of
things
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thing
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 to reach their goals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
people
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likes
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like
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 to sleep
at
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in
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 the
day time
Correct your spelling
daytime
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 and
also
Linking Words
 spend freely in their
life
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the target has
came
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come
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in
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to
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 their mind
the
Correct your spelling
that
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life
Use synonyms
 completely
change
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changed
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 another way and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 they have to regret the free
Use synonyms
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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 and the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 which are followed before. As an example, someone
have
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has
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 to face an exam their sleeping timetable has changed and some of the days end without sleeping. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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luck is the method of
the
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apply
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failure
Use synonyms
people
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in people
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 who
are believe
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believe
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement and I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard
working
Replace the word
work
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 changes are the best methods to reach their goals.
Submitted by prabhashamila on

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coherence cohesion
Although you have provided an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more developed. Try to give a clear overview of your main points in your introduction and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and strengthen your essay.
lexical resource
You need to work on expanding your range of vocabulary. Attempt to use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas in a more nuanced manner.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • luck
  • determination
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • skills
  • continuous learning
  • achievements
  • opportunities
  • networking
  • personal accountability
  • diverse backgrounds
  • access to resources
  • causality
  • creative industries
  • structured fields
  • linear
  • predicated on merit
What to do next:
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