Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
a
someone Correct article usage
apply
complete
their targets in their lifetime most probably on their luck. I completely disagree with Change the verb form
completes
this
statement and this
essay Change preposition
in this
i
will argue with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement considering the
Correct your spelling
that
people
work hard to achieve their target
and some Fix the agreement mistake
targets
of
Change preposition
apply
the
behavior changers to Correct article usage
apply
fullfill
their Correct your spelling
fulfil
require
achievements.
On the one hand, if Wrong verb form
required
people
need to reach some achievement, they work hard to reach the final destination. Hard working
is the best option to complete whether personal or career Replace the word
work
life
targets. In this
regard they change their freely
Change the adverb
free
life style
and, every moment they are Correct your spelling
lifestyle
in
the target and Change preposition
at
also
manage their time to reach to
the point. As an example, Kumar Sangakkara who was Change preposition
apply
the
former cricketer in Sri LankaCorrect article usage
a
,
had played 300 balls Remove the comma
apply
evryday
himself using the balling machine to practice for the Correct your spelling
every day
oneday
cricket matches.
Correct your spelling
one-day
one day
On the other hand
, people
have some of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
behaviors
in their Change the spelling
behaviours
life
and they have to change that kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
things
to reach their goals. Fix the agreement mistake
thing
Furthermore
, some people
likes
to sleep Change the verb form
like
at
the Change preposition
in
day time
and Correct your spelling
daytime
also
spend freely in their life
. Nevertheless
, the target has came
Change the verb form
come
in
their mind Change preposition
to
the
Correct your spelling
that
life
completely change
another way and after Wrong verb form
changed
that
they have to regret the free Add a comma
that,
life styles
and the Correct your spelling
lifestyles
behaviors
which are followed before. As an example, someone Change the spelling
behaviours
have
to face an exam their sleeping timetable has changed and some of the days end without sleeping.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
has
the
luck is the method of Correct article usage
apply
the
failure Correct article usage
apply
people
who Change preposition
in people
are believe
.Change the verb form
believe
Hence
, I disagree with the statement and I believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
the
hard Correct article usage
apply
working
and Replace the word
work
the
Correct article usage
apply
behavior
changes are the best methods to reach their goals.Change the spelling
behaviour
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coherence cohesion
Although you have provided an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more developed. Try to give a clear overview of your main points in your introduction and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and strengthen your essay.
lexical resource
You need to work on expanding your range of vocabulary. Attempt to use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas in a more nuanced manner.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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