IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #life #luck
Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
 believe that
,
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apply
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a
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apply
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someone
complete
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completes
show examples
 their targets in their lifetime most probably on their luck. I completely disagree with
this
 statement and
this
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in this
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 essay
i
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I
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 will argue with
this
 statement considering
the
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that
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people
 work hard to achieve their
target
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targets
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 and some
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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behavior changers to
fullfill
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fulfil
their
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 achievements. On the one hand, if
people
 need to reach some achievement, they work hard to reach the final destination. Hard
working
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work
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 is the best option to complete whether personal or career
life
 targets. In
this
 regard they change their
freely
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free
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life style
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lifestyle
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 and, every moment they are
in
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at
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 the target and
also
 manage their time to reach
to
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apply
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the point. As an example, Kumar Sangakkara who was
the
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a
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 former cricketer in Sri Lanka
,
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apply
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 had played 300 balls
evryday
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every day
 himself using the balling machine to practice for the
oneday
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one-day
one day
 cricket matches.
On the other hand
,
people
 have some
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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behaviors
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behaviours
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 in their
life
 and they have to change that
kind
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kinds
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 of
things
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thing
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 to reach their goals.
Furthermore
, some
people
likes
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like
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 to sleep
at
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in
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 the
day time
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daytime
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 and
also
 spend freely in their
life
.
Nevertheless
, the target has
came
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come
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in
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to
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 their mind
the
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that
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life
 completely
change
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changed
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 another way and after
that
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that,
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 they have to regret the free
life styles
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lifestyles
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 and the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 which are followed before. As an example, someone
have
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has
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 to face an exam their sleeping timetable has changed and some of the days end without sleeping. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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luck is the method of
the
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apply
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failure
people
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in people
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 who
are believe
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believe
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.
Hence
, I disagree with the statement and I believe that
,
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard
working
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work
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 changes are the best methods to reach their goals.
Submitted by prabhashamila on

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coherence cohesion
Although you have provided an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more developed. Try to give a clear overview of your main points in your introduction and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and strengthen your essay.
lexical resource
You need to work on expanding your range of vocabulary. Attempt to use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas in a more nuanced manner.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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