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Band 6

Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#educationalists #child #instrument
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that it is essential for
children
 to observe the way to play musical
instruments
. I would contend that I partially have a consensus with
this
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, musical
instruments
 should be transformed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teenagers.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
learning to play
instruments
 can train
children
 to develop traits and expose them to different cultures. To be more accurate, when they can
use
 a flood of musical
instruments
 they can improve their characteristics
such
 as patience, discipline and commitment which can bring more redeeming features
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their life.
Therefore
, making
use
 of musical
instruments
 should be encouraged to be handed down to
children
.
While
 focusing on musical
instruments
 is widely acknowledged, it is crucial for
children
 to utilize musical
instruments
.
Instead
 of digesting how to
use
 musical
instruments
 as a main subject, teenagers can learn abundant theoretical subjects which can bring a wealth of useful knowledge and help them to be a part of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 university.
For instance
, they can choose to absorb theoretical subjects namely math, geography,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
 which can provide a knowledge base for
children
 and they can play
instruments
 in their quality time in order to blow off some steam.
Thus
, theoretical subjects should be passed down to
children
 and they can
use
instruments
 so as to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress relief.
Hence
, musical
instruments
 should be imparted to every younger person and can help them improve positive traits in their lives.
Submitted by nh203618 on

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task response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed and provide a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices to improve the flow and organization of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to express ideas more accurately and effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and precision.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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