Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

In the cutting-edge era, modern
people
are regularly informed about the dangers of leading an unhealthy life. Despite the advancements in the medical field,
people
are still suffering from diseases that are preventable.
This
essay will examine the main causes of an unhealthy lifestyle and possible solutions to
this
problem. One of the main causes of the problem that leads to an unhealthy lifestyle is smoking,
although
most
people
tend to smoke publically, which catches the attention of many young adults who try to imitate them by starting to smoke too.
For instance
, in the USA, around 57
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of young kids
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
smoke by seeing strangers on the road or through commercials. Because of that, many young
people
put themselves in bad company. To mitigate
this
issue, the government should provide policy and awareness so that it may be tackled by giving positive facilities that are worthwhile
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
living. Another problem is the lack of physicality.
In other words
, because of the advancement in day-to-day technology, most individuals get attracted to it,
although
it has a positive impact too. Using it constantly makes you obese and overweight
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Many chronic diseases,
such
as anxiety, pressure, and depression, get attached to your diet and make you weak mentally.
For example
, in 2011, the UK government issued a statement about
people
gaining weight
due to
overeating, which allowed them to put a sales tax in place to reduce the consumption of excessive eating to cope with it. Many different schemes should be provided to
people
to entertain them in their daily lives and create mini-tours so as to burn some calories.
To conclude
, unhealthy activities have always had a negative impact on one's life and cannot
be vanished
Wrong verb form
vanish
show examples
.
Moreover
, if we deal with the iron hand, we can lessen the impact on our daily lives.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay adequately addresses the causes and solutions of an unhealthy lifestyle, but the support for the main points is limited. Provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, but the introduction and conclusion can be improved. Consider providing a more engaging introduction to grab the reader's attention and a concise summary in the conclusion.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, showcasing the writer's ability to express ideas. However, aim to incorporate more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to enhance the overall quality.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is fairly sound, with minor errors present. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure proper sentence structure throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: