Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #say #population #governments #society

In today's world, the lifetime of

people

is getting longer and the ageing

population

is increasing. Some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

believe that the growing elderly

population

leads to some problems for

governments

while

others are of the opinion that the ageing

population

has

benefits

in some aspects.

This

essay will discuss both

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and drawbacks of having

ageing

Add an article

an ageing

show examples

population

. From

the

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

point of view,

people

believe the ageing

population

creates problems for the government,

it is clear that

one of the main reasons for

this

problem is

decreasing

Correct article usage

the decreasing

show examples

workforce.

For instance

, especially for the physical work there is a decline and these

governments

are looking for workers from other

countriescountries

Correct your spelling

countries

and

this

situation creates extra costs and legal issues.

In addition

to that,

governments

with

ageing

Correct article usage

an ageing

show examples

population

must ensure good healthcare and insurance

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

since elderly

people

start to use the healthcare system more often and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

this

case creates costs for

governments

However

, having an ageing

population

has some

benefits

Change preposition

for

show examples

society.

For example

, raising a child with grandparents, not with babysitters, strengthened their family bonds and these

children

also

can easily learn traditional things from their grandparents. Not only

this

, in today's world having more elderly

people

is a sign for developed

countries

. It means that the government ensure wealth and economic stability, so these

people

don't have to leave their country and they raise their

children

Change preposition

show examples

good standards.

Also

, it shows the migration rate is low. In third-world, developing

countries

migration rate is very high and

people

try to raise more

children

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with

show examples

bad standards. Since educated

people

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

started to move to developed

countries

their ageing

population

is very low. In conclusion, having an elderly

population

both has

benefits

and drawbacks, but if all of the positive and negative sides are concerned, I would personally argue that having an aging

population

is a good sign for

countries

Fix the agreement mistake

a country's

show examples

development status and

also

has many

benefits

while

raising

children

Submitted by boracibikci on Sun Nov 05 2023

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logical structure

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relevant specific examples

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lexical resource

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grammatical range

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Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective way of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumer be, in this sense? What other ways exit to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Today whereas some people advocate that players must have physical strenght, others argue that mental skills are much important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

You recently returned from oversea by air and left a valuable item on the plane. Write a letter to the airline manager. In your letter .Describe the item you left behind .Say why it is important to you .Explain what you would like the airline manager to do Write at least 150 words.