The government should spend more money on railways than on roads. That do you think about this?
In the modern era, a huge amount of
money
is dedicated to construction
and renovation of infrastructures, and Correct article usage
the construction
due to
the limited budget, authorities must decide which foundation is of
more Change preposition
apply
necessity
. Some individuals believe that railways are in higher priority Replace the word
necessary
rather
than Rephrase
apply
roads
. I, personally, consider erecting roads
more vital than railways, although
, allocating money
to each has pro
and cons. In Fix the agreement mistake
pros
this
essay, I will discuss this
matter thoroughly.
First of all, I think roads
are of more vitality, because every day, an increasing number of people travel by cars, and their safety is related to the quality of the roads
. If the roads
get widened and more equipped, the possibility of incidents will reduce. Moreover
, with new roads
, the time and the length of the travel will decrease. In addition
to this
, by building better paths, there will be some stops for drivers to rest. Even they can use these places if they feel dizzy or sleepy.
On the other hand
, travelling by train is a crucial mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
for
commuting between cities, and governments should undoubtedly put some Change preposition
of
money
for
Change preposition
into
this
purpose. We shouldn’t ignore the fact that an astonishing number of travelers
use trains, and renovating the old and wrecked path, and adding the new one will increase the level and the comfort of their journey.
To put it in a nutshell, these two areas are both serious, and none of them can be ignored. It is best to have enough Change the spelling
travellers
money
to invest on
both of them, but Change preposition
in
f
there is no opportunity like Correct your spelling
if
this
, we should prioritize, and in my opinion, building roads
is more necessity
Replace the word
necessary
due to
the huge crowd who commutes daily.Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on
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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task prompt are addressed in the essay. In this essay, while you discussed the importance of roads and railways separately, you did not clearly state your stance on whether the government should spend more money on railways or roads. Make sure to include your opinion in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but there could be more coherence between the main points and the supporting ideas. Ensure that each paragraph is unified and connected to the main argument. Additionally, use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and idiomatic expressions. Try to incorporate more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic phrases to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
In terms of grammar, your essay demonstrates a good range of structures with minimal errors. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structures to further improve the grammar accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
