IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

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Nowadays, everyone wants to be successful in their life with an easy and shortcut way. The youth are sometimes influenced in their
behaviors
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behaviours
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 of the same age group easily by
others
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. Numerous
people
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 believe that peer pressure is important
while
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others
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 feel it has distinct disadvantages.
This
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 essay makes a comparison of both the advantages and disadvantages and chooses the most preferred option.
To begin
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 with, peer pressure is important because more competition all around the world, and everyone wants to be better than another one.
People
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 are easily attracted from the same age group and try to motivate themselves.
For example
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, as per a survey by BBC News,
people
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 are trying to copy every successful
person
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 but only 5% of
people
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 are successful.
Hence
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, It is the main reason for human failure they do not focus and trust themselves, and always look to
others
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.
On the other hand
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, nobody likes to fail a
person
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, even their family members told him and given the example of their friends and
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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 they were successful but you are still
in
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been in
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 the same position for the
last
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 five years. A few citizens choose the wrong path to success like criminal offenses.
For instance
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, as per a report by WHO, every year 10 thousand
people
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 die
due to
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 the inability to handle the pressure of study and office. In conclusion, as per the current scenario, competition at every place in studies and jobs. If we try to copy
others
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 sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail it is part of life. We see that
person
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 is successful but we do not, they achieved
this
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 success after many failures. Every
person
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 in not have the same qualities, some are better at studying and few at games.

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses the prompt fully and provides a clear opinion on whether the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical progression of ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express ideas.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and use more complex grammatical structures.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • influence
  • behaviours
  • age group
  • positive behaviour
  • negative influence
  • substance abuse
  • reckless behaviour
  • detrimental effects
  • health and future prospects
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional and psychological development
  • erode
  • self-esteem
  • personal values
  • decision-making abilities
  • introduce new perspectives
  • open-mindedness
  • conform
  • individuality
  • creativity
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