You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, the tradition of families living together is disappearing. What are the reasons for this trend? What are the effects on the family and society as a whole? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, in the contemporary era, there are more and more cases when families
want
Add a missing verb
do want
show examples
not to live under the same roof. Many argue that it
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
a modern tendency of freedom, but others claim that the reason for
this
Linking Words
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
to advances in technology and
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
rise of income.
This
Linking Words
essay will
be outlined
Wrong verb form
outline
show examples
these trends and some consequences which have been caused in today's society. There is no shadow of a doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the growth of the global economy
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been bringing many benefits day by day. Naturally, people become more
wealtthy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
as well as
Linking Words
some of them become really affluent.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they want more freedom and independence because of the opportunities which money can bring.
As a result
Linking Words
, many of them begin to buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartment
apartments
, houses or even mansions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, new kinds of businesses have been started. To exemplify, one
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
my neighbours
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
built a hotel near the Baltic
sea
Capitalize word
Sea
show examples
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
two years ago , where he
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
with his family near the Baltic
sea
Capitalize word
Sea
show examples
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
and now he is very rich. From my perspective, it gives only positive
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
. New young families, which have started new businesses, are producing something new now. It is sensible
to conclude
Linking Words
that it generates more money,
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
and
also
Linking Words
more taxes to the government. In a global
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
, if individuals will have more funds, the whole nation will have too. Literally, more individual freedom
is
Change the verb form
also has
show examples
also
Linking Words
has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own merits. It appears that more creativity can be brought and some new ideas would born. In conclusion, as it can be seen only positive
outcomes
Fix the agreement mistake
outcome
show examples
that
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
families
do not live together.
However
Linking Words
, it does not mean that living together is a harmful thing. Nowadays, every family can
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
their own decision
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
settles
Correct subject-verb agreement
settle
show examples
where
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
own priorities in
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
or strong family bonds.
Submitted by roker123456 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides a brief overview of the main points you will be discussing in the essay. Additionally, don't forget to summarize your main points in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Use clear topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through your ideas. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provides sufficient support.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and sophisticated. Try to use more precise and specific words and phrases to convey your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to your grammar to avoid errors and improve the overall clarity of your writing. Review basic grammar rules and use a variety of sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: