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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write an email to the fitness instructor in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Mention when and where you bought this course • Describe why you were disappointed • Urge the instructor to remedy the situation

#email #fitness #instructor #course #remedy #situation
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 to express my dissatisfaction with the fitness course that I purchased from your Online store.
To begin
 with, I am an active user on Instagram and came across your profile where you posted numerous videos on fitness and diet plans.Since
,
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the posts are very influential and offer huge discounts.I opted $30 plan which includes a fitness and daily food plan. After the payment ,when I tried to access the meal course.It redirects me to the login page and requests me to pay an additional charge for the food plan.I felt
this
 is all trap and you are influencing the public with great offers which we don't get after the initial purchase. I politely, request you to provide me with
the
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access or refund the money to the designated card that I used for the purchase. Looking forward to your reply . Yours sincerely Vikram
Submitted by vicky.kallem on

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Task Response
Ensure that you clearly address all the tasks provided in the prompt. In this case, you should mention when and where you bought the course, describe why you were disappointed, and urge the instructor to remedy the situation. Your response is incomplete as it does not properly describe why you were disappointed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization and coherence of your essay by using clear topic sentences and logical connections between your ideas. Additionally, ensure that your essay contains an introduction and conclusion to provide a well-rounded structure.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the range and precision of your language. It is important to use a variety of words and phrases to effectively convey your ideas and arguments.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Make sure to use proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence formation throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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