IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

#people #school #news #waste #time
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People have different views about adding global
news
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 as a module whilst others believe it is a waste of
percious
Correct your spelling
precious
 time. Universal
news
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 has an advantage for
students
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 for having
knowledge
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 about what is happening in the world . To some
extent
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extent,
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 it
strain
Change the verb form
strains
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students
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due to
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high
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highly
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 demanding
courses
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, worldwide
news
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 provides current information about what is happening .
This
Linking Words
 promotes
knowledge
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 to
students
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 and they can learn from that.Take
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 example, the
news
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 broadcast culture, economies, science and technology, politics, war, health, law and different aspects of life. One
student
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 can be
motived
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motivated
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with
Change preposition
by
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 IT production in Asian countries
this
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 will lead the
student
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 to focus more on that certain subject. To add
on
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apply
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to
this
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, global
news
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 is very educating in all
courses
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for instance
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 in
History
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the History
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 module. Pupils can link their essays
like
Change preposition
to
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Russian
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the Russian
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 and Ukraine
war
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wars
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. In
health
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the health
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 aspect ,
school
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 children can learn through
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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 especially
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 pandemic and how they resolved it. in
this
Linking Words
case
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case,
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 it will be a positive advancement for high
school
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student
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 to take part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international
news
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 because it boost their
knowledge
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to
Change preposition
of
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 their subjects .It can
also
Linking Words
 sharpen their mind to have a vision
to
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of
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 what they want to specialise
on
Change preposition
in
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 in the future
due to
Linking Words
 the
news
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story
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stories
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 of different countries.
Conversely
Linking Words
, global
news
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 can be a burden to
students
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. in high
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school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
 there are many modules that are
complusary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 and a
student
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 can not afford to drop. So to add another course
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
strains ,
no
Correct word choice
and no
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 time to rest and
cannot
Verb problem
not
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 balance all the
courses
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can lead to failure. Another issue is some
students
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 may not be willing to learn about global
news
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 because they are into national
news
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 which makes them
banking
Add a missing verb
have banking
show examples
 lessons in
school
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 or not
concetrating
Correct your spelling
concentrating
. In
this
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 case, pupils do not like to have more bunch of subjects because they will not study in peace which will lead to stress, anxiety and no social life
hence
Linking Words
 destroying their career. In conclusion, high
school
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 must add universal
news
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 as a course because it
aqcuire
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requires
knowledge
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 and more information in
positive
Change the article
a positive
show examples
 way. On the other side, it may be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time because of many
courses
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 that are already there and
this
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 may affect a
student
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's quality of life.
Submitted by ymhariwa on

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task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.
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