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Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?

#countries #europe #children #age #schools #skills #job #education #students #world #work
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In the present world, it is essential for
overall
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 educational growth for a successful career. It is believed that some young children attend education institute which provides them
practical
Change preposition
with practical
show examples
 hands-on
skills
Use synonyms
whereas
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 other young children prefer
schools
Use synonyms
 which provide a pre-defined education curriculum.
This
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 essay will discuss various options which
such
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institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 can use to prepare students for work opportunities in the
future
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with,
schools
Use synonyms
 should be looking to improve their curriculum by replacing less important theoretical knowledge with practical practice tests.
This
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 will help them for better
Use synonyms
future
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
opportunities in the
future
Use synonyms
 which help them to excel in their respective role in any organization.
For instance
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, few
schools
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology use
this
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 approach by combining lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 programming coding languages with practical assignments.
As a result
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, these students face
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 difficulties and pick up
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 rapidly when they join any organization for work.
In addition
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, the
schools
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 should be looking to include a month internship from an early age.
This
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 helps them to build soft
skills
Use synonyms
 like communication, teamwork and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
.
As a result
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,
this
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 will reduce any nervousness
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 an interview and make them familiar with it for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 employment opportunities. Another thing
institute
Correct article usage
the institute
show examples
 can do is
including
Replace the word
include
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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classes on finances and entrepreneurship.
This
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 helps them to develop the required professional
skills
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 and
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to manage their time and money effectively. In conclusion, it is as important for
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to learn practical
skills
Use synonyms
 from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age as it is important for them to learn general theory knowledge. To achieve
this
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, I suggest institutes can alter their existing curriculum by adding more practical exercises, encourage them to participate in short
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
 and give them knowledge on uncommon but important topics like finance and leadership.
Submitted by destroyerblackhood2302 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance the overall coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
grammatical range
Make sure to vary sentence structures and use more complex grammatical structures to showcase a wider range of language skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training programs
  • curriculum
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication skills
  • career guidance
  • counseling
  • internships
  • apprenticeships
  • local industries
  • businesses
  • digital literacy
  • technological skills
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
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