Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Technological advancement
isplaying
Correct your spelling
is playing
a vital role
to divert
Change preposition
in diverting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from working for a company to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
. It helps to choose the field of a
business
to start.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are some disadvantages to
initiate
Wrong verb form
initiating
show examples
a
business
, the benefits are attractive. The main reason to
kick-off
Correct your spelling
kick off
show examples
a
business
is that it gives the opportunity to become
self independent
Add a hyphen
self-independent
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they can use their time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own way.
Thus
, they can distribute their life by maintaining a proper work-life balance, which is important for them and their families.
Moreover
, they can find some spare
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for their friends and relatives.
Furthermore
, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
most important reason to choose their career as self-initiator is to avoid a specific remuneration which is given by a company. If they can start a profitable
business
, they will get unlimited remuneration to lead their lives.
For instance
, if we see the lifestyle of any renowned businessman, like the owners of Walton Hi-Tech Industries PLC, a renowned electronics company
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Bangladesh,
then
we will see that they are spending their lives in their own ways and earning a lot of money. Even, they have enough time to spend quality time with their friends and family members.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
a
business
and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
the
pach
Correct your spelling
pace
. It is difficult to compete with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
strong competitor.
Additionally
, primary funding for
setup
Correct your spelling
setting up
show examples
a
business
is crucial.
For example
, most of the innovative ideas fail to start as a
business
because of the shortage of funding. In those cases, banks do not provide loans as there is a risk of failure. Some cultural issues are
also
negatively impacted on the new starting.
Such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Novarties
Correct your spelling
Novartis
, a
US based
Add a hyphen
US-based
show examples
pharmaceuticals
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmaceutical
show examples
stopped its operation in Bangladesh because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
issues related to culture. Though its products maintained quality, the culture of providing samples and gifts to the doctors is beyond its culture but common in
Bangledesh
Correct your spelling
Bangladesh
.
For
this
reason, it was not possible for them to stay here. In conclusion, it can be said that self-employment
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some benefits,
such
as balancing their life with work,
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
disadvantages, like
to continue
Change the verb form
continuing
show examples
their
business
,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
crucial. Considering these issues, they try to move on
business
Change preposition
to business
show examples
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the question in your response. In this essay, you provided explanations for why people choose to be self-employed and the disadvantages of self-employment.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure and flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and provides supporting examples.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary and phrases is generally appropriate and effective. However, try to vary your word choices more and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammar usage is good overall. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to further improve your grammatical range.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-employment
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Freelancing
  • Work-life balance
  • Business strategy
  • Risk management
  • Financial instability
  • Benefits package
  • Job security
  • Innovation
  • Market needs
  • Isolation
  • Corporate volatility
  • Pursuit of passion
  • Administrative tasks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: