IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009 in Japan, the USA and other countries.

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009 in Japan, the USA and other countries.
#information #sale #vehicles #japan #usa #countries
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The bar chart compares data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the sale of hybrid vehicles
though
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the globe in 3 countries from 2006 to 2009
Overall
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the highest rate
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 almost at all periods of time,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 one Japan overran
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lower
sales
Use synonyms
 showed Japan and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, Japan witnessed
niglible
Correct your spelling
negligible
eligible
sales
Use synonyms
 with
orthe
Correct your spelling
other
 countries for 3
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. In 2006 sold just more than 50.000 cars and in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 increased
for
Change preposition
to
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 15.000 and in
additional
Add an article
the additional
an additional
show examples
year
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 25.000 units.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 it almost tripled
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 at 320.000 purchases
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 had just over 100.000
sales
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 started in 2006
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 250.000 and in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
Use synonyms
plummet
Wrong verb form
plummeted
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 number for
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 200.000. Having
showen
Correct your spelling
shown
 its peak
im
Correct your spelling
in
 2008
sales
Use synonyms
 decreased
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 fewer than 100.000 and
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 22.000 in
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zarinadalab on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, nevertheless".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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