The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people in society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #overweigh #society

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It is undoubtedly the case that urban areas around the world increasingly suffer from health problems

due to

being overweight.There are several reasons for

this

problem,and various measures could be taken by society and individuals to improve the situation. There are a variety of different factors that have led

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

major

causes

Fix the agreement mistake

cause

show examples

can be

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

that

people

like to eat fast

food

.Nowadays,there

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

many restaurants and convenience

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

to provide options.The second reason is that

people

do not eat the

food

on time. Despite some obvious reasons described above , there are several actions that

people

could take to solve the problems.

Firstly

,a simple solution would be

try

Fix the infinitive

to try

show examples

to eat original foods,try to make

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

self

Correct your spelling

yourself

show examples

,and choose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

food

Correct word choice

and do

show examples

not eat

Replace the word

too

show examples

much fried

Add a hyphen

much-fried

show examples

food

and oily

food

.The second measure would be for

people

to not eat supper

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because supper is one of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

to make

people

become fat,try to measure calories and take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise after having a meal. In conclusion,despite some obvious reasons,various measures can be taken to tackle the problem of health problems

due to

being overweight.

Submitted by ggrunrunderr on Mon Nov 06 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address all aspects of the task prompt. The reasons for the growth in overweight people are mentioned, but they lack detailed explanation. Additionally, the measures to solve the problem are briefly mentioned, but there is no development of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure, with an introduction and a conclusion. However, the supporting points are not well-developed. Each paragraph should focus on a specific idea and provide evidence or examples to support it.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision. Using a wider range of vocabulary and specific terminology related to health and nutrition would improve the essay.

grammatical range

There are grammatical errors throughout the essay, including verb tense inconsistencies and sentence structure issues. More attention should be paid to grammar and sentence structure in order to convey ideas clearly and accurately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

181 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
serious health problems
unhealthy food
sedentary lifestyles
physical activity
psychological factors
stress
emotional eating
body image
eating habits
cultural norms
portion sizes
awareness
education
nutrition
healthy eating
dietary choices
promoting
fruits
vegetables
whole grains
physical activity
recreational facilities
balanced diets
implementing policies
food advertising
marketing
healthcare professionals
weight management

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweigh people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizen happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?