IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #government #costs #universities #university #education #anyone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 may argue that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should not provide funding for
universities
Use synonyms
, as
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend it on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other facilities
such
Linking Words
 as public transportation or medication
instead
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, the advantages that society might receive from the
government
Use synonyms
 giving budgets to schools can yield far outweigh these disadvantages, the most noteworthy of these benefits
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 how they can give opportunities to those who cannot afford
Use synonyms
universities'
Change noun form
universities
show examples
 courses and how they can improve individuals'
quality
Use synonyms
 of life. Providing budgets to colleges can reduce the number of
students
Use synonyms
 that
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 afford the
universities
Use synonyms
' courses, so they have a chance to study. As
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 stability of each family is not
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
equal to each other, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers have to abandon their dreams to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
 because their families cannot support them.
For example
Linking Words
, in Thailand, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 have , as of late, been dumped out of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system
due to
Linking Words
 poverty, resulting in
students
Use synonyms
 cannot find jobs as they do not have certifications from
universities
Use synonyms
 to help confirm their abilities in working.
This
Linking Words
 shows that if
government
Use synonyms
 provide money for
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
, it would encourage
students
Use synonyms
 to have a chance to study again. Alongside
this
Linking Words
, giving funding to schools can help improve
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 of life.
As receiving
Change preposition
Receiving
show examples
 a good
quality
Use synonyms
 of education can help
people
Use synonyms
 to have more chances in seeking for their careers, so it can help evaluate
Use synonyms
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 all of
this
Linking Words
 can happen if not only the
government
Use synonyms
 support funding to
universities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, providing money to
universities
Use synonyms
 might seem to waste
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
, though its merits that it can benefit the
students
Use synonyms
 who cannot afford application
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 and better
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 of life are perhaps most important. If not only the
government
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 individuals in society help support
this
Linking Words
, the country will develop in a
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 way than it used to be.
Submitted by mena201205 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid errors in grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: