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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

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Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 are living in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. They live in a housing estate which is beside together.
However
Linking Words
, they do not identify their neighbors associated with they
don’t
Use synonyms
 care about
this
Linking Words
 relationship.
This
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problem
Use synonyms
 causes many disadvantages.
Hence
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, some measures need to be applied
for solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. The reason for causing
Use synonyms
problem
Add an article
the problem
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 is that
people
Use synonyms
 now are living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 world which is operated busily.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 just concentrate on their
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
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 and developing themselves to success.
Therefore
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, they
don’t
Use synonyms
 need to spend much time
for
Change preposition
apply
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meeting or greeting some
people
Use synonyms
 who live beside them.
For example
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,
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
realize
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realizes
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 their polity with someone because they often go back home
lately
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late
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 and leave home early for
working
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work
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.
Hence
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, they
don’t
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 have enough time to establish new
relation
Replace the word
relationships
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 with anyone. That
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them decrease their social skills
such
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 as communication, creativity, etc.
Furthermore
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, they will create a distance between them and others.
As a result
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, not only they
don’t
Use synonyms
 know what other’s name, but
also
Linking Words
 they can’t identify
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 face.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
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 that
this
Linking Words
problem
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be tackled. One of them is that the authorities can financially support some open places like coffee shops, restaurants, or even supermarkets to create several charming spots for locals. These places thereby becoming common and familiar for
people
Use synonyms
 to come and share about their happiness and sorrow within a group. Another way is that
people
Use synonyms
 can together celebrate parties or feasts at one's house every weekend,
then
Linking Words
 they could take turns to become hosts and
thus
Linking Words
, everyone can know where each individual
live
Replace the word
lives
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 and even more things. In conclusion, if
people
Use synonyms
 cannot know their
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
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,
this
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 society will be distempered.
Thus
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, spending a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
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 time to greet
neighbor
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbors
show examples
 really available for us.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on creating more cohesive and logically structured arguments to create a more compelling narrative. Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
Task Response
Ensure all aspects of the prompt are fully addressed, including discussing the implications of the problems and offering clear, specific solutions.
Lexical Resource
Increase the range of vocabulary and use more precise terms relevant to the topic at hand. This will enhance clarity and convey ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Work on a wider grammatical range, including complex sentence structures, and ensure accuracy in verb forms and tense usage to demonstrate better control over language.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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