Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #qualities #person #world #university #institution

A faction of people believe that success mantras cannot be taught

Change preposition

show examples

educational academics.

In addition

to academics, many

trait

Change the noun form

traits

show examples

coperation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

and

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

can

also

be learned at those institutions. With that being, I

also

partially agree with the viewpoint of the abovementioned individuals because our society

also

plays a major role. Our education system

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

us in fostering habits that are paramount in achieving our life goals. What I mean, is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mandatory attendance, group projects ,

inter-school

Correct word choice

and inter-school

show examples

activities are responsible for developing

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

tendencies.

For example

, respecting

rules

Correct article usage

the rules

show examples

and regulation of schools make us disciplined.

Whereas group

Change preposition

Group

show examples

assignments and participating in athletic activities and

sports

competition helps in cultivating

team

spirit, leadership skills ,

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and discipline. Since a successful person

possess

Change the verb form

possesses

show examples

all of the above skills, acquiring those traits increases our chances of being successful. As a

conquence

Correct your spelling

consequence

, without

schools

Add a comma

schools,

show examples

it will be an

ardous

Correct your spelling

arduous

pursuit to engrain those traits in us, which denotes the importance of academies in nurturing the qualities of a successful person.

On the other hand

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

contribution cannot be ignored. All habits, regardless of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

impact, are crucial to

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

a successful personality and

parents

, to

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

, are accountable for fostering those habits.

For example

, despite being good in academics and

sports

, students can develop a destructive habit of spending more time on video games. The leisure time, in turn, could change into incessant gaming addiction; thereby,

results

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

in prioritizing virtual gaming

instead

of participating in outdoor

sports

This

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will have repercussions in learning

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

and

copreation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

which comes

Change preposition

from

show examples

engaging in

sports

Therefore

, it could be argued that

parents

Replace the word

parental

show examples

supervision is necessary to keep a close eye on

such

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

which are detrimental to their children's future outlook. Considering the above, I strongly agree that schools and universities

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

an important role

to plant

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in the skills of dedication, persistence and

team

collaboration. With that being said,

parents

also

play a part by keeping an eye on the development of any disruptive daily routine, which are not in sync with the future goals of their pupils.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Mon Nov 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly indicate your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main idea of the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

Ensure grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In some notions, governments should prioritize alleviating pollution and housing issues in an effort to protect people from diseases. I would contend that tackling problems of environment and housing is a certain way to reduce illnesses, while there are some arguments that public health is not saved by tackling environmental regulations and respiratory diseases.
6.5
band
Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Keeping the work and home environments clean adds value to our lives. Many people try to keep their workplace and home clean to feel confident and positive. Also, there is a proverb that "A clean home attracts money." Hence, I completely agree with the idea of keeping our places organized and dirt-free as it brings positivity to our lives and clarity to our ideas.
7
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
the debate over which academic level is the most conducive to language acquisition has sparked considerable controversy. although learning a second language at primary school may have some drawbacks, in my opinion, the merits of this sentiment are of higher significance and further elaborated in this essay.
6.5
band
Rich countries often offer money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Poverty is a prevalent issue that affects many developing countries. Some people and societies believe that it should be addressed by Rich countries by dedicating financial aid. However financial aid seems to be a direct solution, there is also another belief that is against that and supports the idea of providing non-financial help as a more effective approach. In this essay, both sides will be explored and discussed in detail.
7
band
Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?
It is a great issue that people gather in cities all over the world. This is mainly because there are more work opportunities in the cities. There are a number of solutions that can tackle the problem.

Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?