IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

How should we ensure that the TV is a positive influence in the life of children?

#tv #influence #life #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
Linking Words
 the growth of
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
,
children
Use synonyms
 are getting closer to technology, especially with
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 and
television
Use synonyms
. Most of them spend lots of
time
Use synonyms
 in front of
Use synonyms
television
Add an article
the television
a television
show examples
 and unfortunately, might pick up bad behaviour.
However
Linking Words
, there are ways for
parents
Use synonyms
 to ensure that
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
. In general,
children
Use synonyms
 learn by observing and imitating anything they
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 it is directly or indirectly. Watching
TV
Use synonyms
 can have a positive
impact
Use synonyms
 on
children
Use synonyms
’s growth and development, but in some cases,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 be a contributing factor to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 because of
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 scope is too wide and not all movie is suitable for youngsters.
For instance
Linking Words
, watching
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 shows or soap
opera
Fix the agreement mistake
operas
show examples
 that
exposure
Replace the word
expose
show examples
 violent content or intimate
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, with a lot of fighting
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
 or kissing
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
the detrimental
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and character, so, there should be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
parental guidance for
this
Linking Words
 problem. Over the years, with
the technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 innovations,
parents
Use synonyms
 prefer to give their
children
Use synonyms
 to play
Change preposition
with gadget
show examples
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 and watch
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 during their free
time
Use synonyms
 without limitation
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 might affect their growth,
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can suggest different activities and try to spend
time
Use synonyms
 together.
For instance
Linking Words
, a kid can be allowed to watch
television
Use synonyms
 only for 2 hours a day after school, in order to give them break
time
Use synonyms
 before doing their homework. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
children
Use synonyms
 would not waste their
time
Use synonyms
 on unnecessary programs.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are many ways to protect
children
Use synonyms
 from harms of the
television
Use synonyms
, but most of the solutions depend on the
parents
Use synonyms
, as they are the one who has the biggest
impact
Use synonyms
 on their kids.
Submitted by jessicayoris on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address all parts of the question and fully develop your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence between your ideas and ensure a clear and organized structure.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to include more specific and descriptive words.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: