Write about the following topic. People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
It is claimed that men and women
are never feel
satisfaction and desire more. Change the verb form
never feel
While
people
could become really successful in their careers, and develop unbreakable
mentality Correct article usage
an unbreakable
through
aiming Change preposition
by
more
Change preposition
for more
are
good aspects, they can experience exhaustion and lack of satisfaction from small things which are the main demerits.
Unnecessary verb
apply
People
who want more in their lives might achive
huge success in their careers. Lacking Correct your spelling
achieve
of
satisfaction from anything alters their Remove the preposition
apply
priotiries
in order to become more successful or famous. Correct your spelling
priorities
Moreover
, they can build rigorous mentalities which ease to remove
Replace the word
removal
the
obstacles that they will face in the future. Change preposition
of the
This
attitude can develop their characters to become more resilliant
individuals. To illustrate Correct your spelling
resilient
this
, NAVY seals in the US have taken a lot of mindset courses to improve their mentalities; therefore
, these trained soldiers cannot accept failure in their tasks both mentally and physically.
In contast
, dissatisfaction from small events Correct your spelling
contrast
such
as spending leisure time with family could be really challenging for people
who desires
always for more. Not only will they struggle to be happy with their families, but their life quality will Change the verb form
desire
also
decrease in the long term because demanding
exceptional events or surprise parties from others. Wrong verb form
they demand
Furthermore
, individuals could deplete their energy levels and experience burnouts
. It is hard to maintain Fix the agreement mistake
burnout
stable
mood if men and women want more attention or success in their occupations or daily activities. They will be eventually exhausted from demanding too much. Correct article usage
a stable
For example
, most celebrities experience burnouts
throughout their careers; Fix the agreement mistake
burnout
subsequently
, they pause their carreers
for Correct your spelling
careers
carriers
while
.
In conclusion, if Correct article usage
a while
people
want always more, they could develop a resillient
mentality and achieve exceptional success in their lives. Correct your spelling
resilient
However
, this
aim could result in burnouts
or dissatisfaction from small events in their lives.Fix the agreement mistake
burnout
Submitted by historicalpen on
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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the question in your response. In this essay, you have discussed the positive and negative aspects of people wanting more, but you could have provided a more balanced argument by presenting counterarguments as well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used in your essay is appropriate and there is a good range of vocabulary. However, consider using more advanced vocabulary and collocations to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Overall, the grammatical range in your essay is satisfactory. However, pay attention to sentence structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of verb tenses.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?