Write about the following topic. People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

It is claimed that men and women
are never feel
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never feel
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satisfaction and desire more.
While
people
could become really successful in their careers, and develop
unbreakable
Correct article usage
an unbreakable
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mentality
through
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by
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aiming
more
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for more
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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good aspects, they can experience exhaustion and lack of satisfaction from small things which are the main demerits.
People
who want more in their lives might
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
huge success in their careers. Lacking
of
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apply
show examples
satisfaction from anything alters their
priotiries
Correct your spelling
priorities
in order to become more successful or famous.
Moreover
, they can build rigorous mentalities which ease to
remove
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removal
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the
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of the
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obstacles that they will face in the future.
This
attitude can develop their characters to become more
resilliant
Correct your spelling
resilient
individuals. To illustrate
this
, NAVY seals in the US have taken a lot of mindset courses to improve their mentalities;
therefore
, these trained soldiers cannot accept failure in their tasks both mentally and physically. In
contast
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contrast
, dissatisfaction from small events
such
as spending leisure time with family could be really challenging for
people
who
desires
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desire
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always for more. Not only will they struggle to be happy with their families, but their life quality will
also
decrease in the long term because
demanding
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they demand
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exceptional events or surprise parties from others.
Furthermore
, individuals could deplete their energy levels and experience
burnouts
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burnout
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. It is hard to maintain
stable
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a stable
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mood if men and women want more attention or success in their occupations or daily activities. They will be eventually exhausted from demanding too much.
For example
, most celebrities experience
burnouts
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burnout
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throughout their careers;
subsequently
, they pause their
carreers
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careers
carriers
for
while
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a while
show examples
. In conclusion, if
people
want always more, they could develop a
resillient
Correct your spelling
resilient
mentality and achieve exceptional success in their lives.
However
,
this
aim could result in
burnouts
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burnout
show examples
or dissatisfaction from small events in their lives.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the question in your response. In this essay, you have discussed the positive and negative aspects of people wanting more, but you could have provided a more balanced argument by presenting counterarguments as well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used in your essay is appropriate and there is a good range of vocabulary. However, consider using more advanced vocabulary and collocations to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Overall, the grammatical range in your essay is satisfactory. However, pay attention to sentence structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of verb tenses.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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