Write about the following topic. People are never satisfied and always want more. In what ways is this a good thing and in what ways is this a bad thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #people #minutes

It is claimed that men and women

are never feel

Change the verb form

never feel

show examples

satisfaction and desire more.

While

people

could become really successful in their careers, and develop

unbreakable

Correct article usage

an unbreakable

show examples

mentality

through

Change preposition

show examples

aiming

Change preposition

for more

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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good aspects, they can experience exhaustion and lack of satisfaction from small things which are the main demerits.

People

who want more in their lives might

achive

Correct your spelling

achieve

huge success in their careers. Lacking

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

satisfaction from anything alters their

priotiries

Correct your spelling

priorities

in order to become more successful or famous.

Moreover

, they can build rigorous mentalities which ease to

remove

Replace the word

removal

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

obstacles that they will face in the future.

This

attitude can develop their characters to become more

resilliant

Correct your spelling

resilient

individuals. To illustrate

this

, NAVY seals in the US have taken a lot of mindset courses to improve their mentalities;

therefore

, these trained soldiers cannot accept failure in their tasks both mentally and physically. In

contast

Correct your spelling

contrast

, dissatisfaction from small events

such

as spending leisure time with family could be really challenging for

people

who

desires

Change the verb form

desire

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always for more. Not only will they struggle to be happy with their families, but their life quality will

also

decrease in the long term because

demanding

Wrong verb form

they demand

show examples

exceptional events or surprise parties from others.

Furthermore

, individuals could deplete their energy levels and experience

burnouts

Fix the agreement mistake

burnout

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. It is hard to maintain

stable

Correct article usage

a stable

show examples

mood if men and women want more attention or success in their occupations or daily activities. They will be eventually exhausted from demanding too much.

For example

, most celebrities experience

burnouts

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burnout

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throughout their careers;

subsequently

, they pause their

carreers

Correct your spelling

careers

carriers

for

while

Correct article usage

a while

show examples

. In conclusion, if

people

want always more, they could develop a

resillient

Correct your spelling

resilient

mentality and achieve exceptional success in their lives.

However

this

aim could result in

burnouts

Fix the agreement mistake

burnout

show examples

or dissatisfaction from small events in their lives.

Submitted by historicalpen on Mon Nov 06 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the question in your response. In this essay, you have discussed the positive and negative aspects of people wanting more, but you could have provided a more balanced argument by presenting counterarguments as well.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

lexical resource

The vocabulary used in your essay is appropriate and there is a good range of vocabulary. However, consider using more advanced vocabulary and collocations to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

Overall, the grammatical range in your essay is satisfactory. However, pay attention to sentence structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of verb tenses.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Your opinion

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Consumers are facing increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies.

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increansingly seen as an uncivlized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. As blood sports should be banned. Discuss main arguments for this statement and give your opinion.