The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

The
plan
illustrates the current outlook of a university
sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
currently, and how it is expected to look after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recreation.
Overall
, the
sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
will change dramatically and some amenities and new services will be added. It can be seen that in the present
plan
, a swimming pool with 25 m is in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
and two large outdoor courts
have encompassed
Wrong verb form
encompass
show examples
the east and west sides of the map.
Besides
, to the north of the changing room and the seating, a gym is located.
Furthermore
, in the
plan
, the outdoor court in the east will be demolished to make way for a large leisure pull, a new changing room, and
sports
shops beside it.
Additionally
, the gym in the north of the
plan
is projected to be widened, and below it, a new
sports
hall will be created. As for the replacements of outdoor courts in the east, two dance studios will be developed.
Besides
, to the south of the
sports
hall, a second changing room and a café is expected to be added.
Submitted by matty.ebadii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction by mentioning the purpose of the redevelopment and the reasons behind it.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is well-developed and supported with specific details.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more advanced language to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: