The world population has been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in the third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of woman is a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#world #population #growth #third #countries #children #couple #people #empowerment #woman

The massive turnout of people in the world has been a debatable issue until now. The government has implemented some ways to avoid the tremendous growth in the third world

countries

to limit the rate of

children

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

one

whilst others think that

women

empowerment is a better approach. I agree with the notion that empowering

women

Change the article

the

show examples

best way to control overpopulation

whereas

inhibition of

one

child

can be followed to a lesser extent.

To begin

with

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

empowerment,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a better method to limit the growth of people. If

women

are taken out of

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

sphere to venture into workplaces ,

this

will keep

women

busy with their work. Nowadays,

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gender equality

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

promote

Change the verb form

promotes

show examples

women

to be independent and to have access, control and ownership

wil

Correct your spelling

will

promote female to have

decision

Add an article

a decision

the decision

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

themselves. As we know a girl

child

was subjected to be mainly confined in the private sphere to perform

intrumental

Correct your spelling

instrumental

roles as evidenced by

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sociologist Talcott Parsons. They are there to nurture

children

and bear more

children

. But

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gender equity which

emancipate

Correct subject-verb agreement

emancipates

show examples

women

to have a better education and quality of life

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will reduce

birth

Correct article usage

the birth

show examples

rate because they will not have time to take care of

children

. Demand at the

workplaceand

Correct your spelling

workplace and

studies for

women

to better themselves will lead them not to give more birth to

children

.In

this

case, I think if

women

are

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

on themselves they are able to decide what is good for them.

On the other hand

, restriction of

children

can be another measure to avoid overpopulation to a lesser extent.

One

of the

relavant

Correct your spelling

relevant

example

Change to a plural noun

examples

show examples

is China

one

child

Correct your spelling

one-child

show examples

policy. It introduced

this

policy with some good benefits to individual families thereby people followed the rule and the population

is reducing

Wrong verb form

was reduced

show examples

. But some

countries

cannot afford to

folloe

Correct your spelling

such

rules

for instance

in Africa where polygamy is practised.

Women

are in control over

patriachial

Correct your spelling

patriarchial

patriarchal

society they are silenced and overpowered which will lead them to have more babies. They are not able to decide for themselves because they are

potrayed

Correct your spelling

portrayed

child

bearers. Some

countries

even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

are developed can not afford to have

one

child

, they are happy to have more

children

. In

this

case, it might be followed by some other

countries

with

beneficials

Correct your spelling

benefits

. In conclusion, an increase in population can be minimised by

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

empowerment to a larger extent

while

one

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

child

program will be accepted by few individuals,

Submitted by ymhariwa on Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay has a clear structure with well-presented introduction and conclusion parts, the logical flow between your paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that all points connect smoothly to promote a better understanding of your argument.

task achievement

You have given a complete response to the task with some specific and relevant examples. However, make sure every detail you include is essential and contributes directly to the argument you're building. Avoid unnecessary examples or points that don't strengthen your response.

grammatical range

There are a few grammatical errors and inaccuracies in your essay. Double-checking your work can help you detect and rectify these issues. Practice more on grammar complexities and nuances to enhance your language competency and accuracy.

lexical resource

Your vocabulary is relatively varied and adequately academic. However, there are a few inaccurate word choices and redundancies. Using synonyms wisely can improve your lexical resource. Remember that clarity is always the key element in effective communication.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

410 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

curb
excessive
restrict
empowerment
one-child policy
ethical concerns
individual freedoms
reproductive health
sustainable
workforce
holistic
correlation
demographics
socio-economic benefits

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The world population has been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in the third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of woman is a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensave the survival of local languages and if so, how?

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh disadvantages?

Some argue that all young children should be required to stay with full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a country’s progress is completely dependent on its economic success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the progress of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important compared to others?