IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Students in university education should develop specialists in one subject area rather than create a broader range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #university #education #specialists #area #range #subjects
It is believed by some people that learners at university should concentrate on one specific subject
while
, others consider that, university education should be provided in a variety of fields for useful purposes. I support the latter notion and
this
 essay will shed light on numerous rationales in order to support my standpoint. To commence with the first and foremost reason, the option of career choice becomes broad as in
this
 contemporary era, the competition in the job market is at a peak ,
therefore
,
knowledge
 of numerous
subjects
 renders an opportunity of choosing multiple careers.
Additionally
,
knowledge
 of
subjects
 that require creative skills can change pupils' lives significantly.
Although
 artistic
subjects
 do not promise success yet, the individuals who master
such
 skills earn a hefty amount of wealth. To cite an example, it can be seen in the world that many well-established celebrities choose their career in the artistic field after failing at their majors.
Thus
,
knowledge
 of a broader range of fields renders a favourable chance of achieving success. Probing ahead, the decision to pursue one particular major is baleful as various
subjects
 in courses are intertwined,and
such
 studies can be executed when
knowledge
 of both
inter-related
Correct your spelling
interrelated
show examples
subjects
 is provided.
For instance
,undoubtedly, the study of physics is based on science
however
, the equations and numerals can be mastered only when a learner is doing extraordinary at mathematics.
Similarly
, biology and chemistry are intertwined at various points.
Consequently
, the action of breaking a monotony in studies facilitates practical and logical learning. To recapitulate, owing to the aforementioned assertions it can be concluded that
knowledge
 of all fields of study is vital as life does not promise a career in one particular work sector ,
therefore
, universities should teach all
subjects
 that can succour students in their latter life.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are missing some key elements. Work on clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but there is a need for more variety and precision in word choice. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetitive expressions.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and repetitions. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expertise
  • Authorities
  • Specialization
  • Niches
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Innovation
  • Adaptability
  • Generalists
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving
  • Career shifts
  • Academic isolation
  • Employability
  • Collaborative skills
  • Networking
  • Educational systems
  • Rapidly changing job market
What to do next:
Look at other essays: