IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are studying overseas. You need to return to your country before the end of the semester for a family event. Write a letter to your supervisor. In your letter - request time off - explain why you need to leave early - reassure him/her that your studies will not suffer

#country #semester #event #supervisor #request #time #studies
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Dear Mrs. Anya Hope you and your family in Bali are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request some time
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 before the semester is complete, regarding my
brother
Change noun form
brother's
show examples
 wedding in Indonesia. I have to go one week before the marriage to prepare
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 wedding and help him through emotional support.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, my Father
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not in good condition, so I need to visit him in Hospital. In total, I need 2 weeks before coming back to College. I will assure you that I will not
left
Change the verb form
leave
be left
show examples
 my studies behind, Surya will help me to discuss the lecture
while
Linking Words
 I'm in Indonesia. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours, Sincerely Hendra
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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task response
Provide more specific details about your brother's wedding and your father's condition to make your reasons more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more coherently by using separate paragraphs for each point.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using more varied phrases and expressions.
grammatical range
Proofread your letter to fix grammatical errors and improve sentence structures.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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