You are studying overseas. You need to return to your country before the end of the semester for a family event. Write a letter to your supervisor. In your letter - request time off - explain why you need to leave early - reassure him/her that your studies will not suffer

#country #semester #event #supervisor #request #time #studies

Dear Mrs. Anya Hope you and your family in Bali are doing well. I am writing

this

letter to request some time

Replace the word

off

show examples

before the semester is complete, regarding my

brother

Change noun form

brother's

show examples

wedding in Indonesia. I have to go one week before the marriage to prepare

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

wedding and help him through emotional support.

Furthermore

, my Father

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not in good condition, so I need to visit him in Hospital. In total, I need 2 weeks before coming back to College. I will assure you that I will not

left

Change the verb form

leave

be left

show examples

my studies behind, Surya will help me to discuss the lecture

while

I'm in Indonesia. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours, Sincerely Hendra

Submitted by hwidyadana on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide more specific details about your brother's wedding and your father's condition for a clearer explanation.

coherence cohesion

Use a more formal greeting and closing for a business letter.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or topic.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise words.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

114 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are studying overseas. You need to return to your country before the end of the semester for a family event. Write a letter to your supervisor. In your letter - request time off - explain why you need to leave early - reassure him/her that your studies will not suffer

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You received a letter from your friend informing you that his elderly parents are coming to visit in your area and he is asking for your on - which places they should visit - where should they live -invite them to do something with you

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people join online learning programs and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree? Use good reasons and examples

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?