IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is better to live in a big city than a small town. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #town
New generations prefer to live in a big
town
 because they think that they will have jobs ,and a good future there. But, I do not agree that living in a big
town
 is better in our lives.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 statement and will give reasons.
To begin
 with,
this
 attitude is why many people prefer to live in the city. First of all, many people think that the Capital has more jobs than a small
town
.
Secondly
, the big city has new innovations and good schools there.
For example
, the survey found that 70 per cent of international companies and good universities live in the big city. So, many young ages and many families move to the big
town
 because they need
a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
show examples
.
Therefore
,
this
 action
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is why many people move to other places.
On the other hand
, I think that the growth
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of technology
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 making the world change
likes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
I have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seen that
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, as ideas are not presented in a coherent manner and transitions between points are abrupt or non-existent. To improve, ensure logical sequencing of ideas, use a range of linking words effectively, and clearly differentiate between main points and supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are essential components of an essay; the introduction sets the context and states the writer's position, whereas the conclusion should summarize main points and reiterate the writer's stance. Your essay omits a clear conclusion, which is detrimental to the overall structure. Practice writing clear introductory and concluding paragraphs to enhance your essay's effectiveness.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are touched on but not fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence. To improve task achievement, ensure each main point is adequately explained and supported with relevant examples or data.
task achievement
The essay does not form a complete response to the task. The argument is incomplete and the prompt's statement is not thoroughly discussed. Make sure to develop a full essay that presents a balanced view and fully addresses the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas presented are not clear or comprehensive. Strive to articulate your ideas more effectively by refining and expanding upon them, ensuring a thorough explanation and consideration of the prompt.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the main points. When making a point, always try to include a relevant example or piece of evidence to substantiate your claim. This will demonstrate a better task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • metropolitan
  • rural
  • cost of living
  • stress levels
  • unemployment rate
  • specialized fields
  • closer-knit community
  • cultural diversity
  • culinary experiences
  • recreational facilities
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • pollution
  • overall well-being
  • social interactions
  • sense of community
What to do next:
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