Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

One
of the most controversial issues today relates to which is the best
place
to live.
While
some
people
tend towards the viewpoint that
cities
are the best
place
to live, others support the idea of living in the
countryside
. In
this
essay, I am going to examine both points of view and provide my own opinion. On
one
side of the argument, there are
people
who argue that
cities
are the best
place
to live. The main reason for believing
this
is that the traffic is more convenient. To be more specific, the full traffic system can reduce
people
's time by going from
one
place
to another
place
. It is
also
possible to say that various entertainment options cause
people
to think that
cities
are the best
place
to live.
One
good illustration of
this
is
people
have many things to do in their leisure time.
For example
, have tea time with a friend or go to shopping centre or do some exercise in the gym room.The various choices make
people
's lives interesting.
On the other hand
, the opposite argument is that others prefer to live in the
countryside
. For
one
thing,there is good pollution and a quiet environment in the
countryside
.To illustrate, there are fewer cars so could not make lousy noise and fewer building more plants so could keep the good pollution.For another, the fact that living in the
countryside
is cheaper than
cities
also
deserves our attention.
In other words
,the rent is cheaper,less activity to spend money.In the
countryside
,
people
make meals by themself so they can be more healthy. In conclusion,
although
it might seem sensible for
people
to think that
cities
are the best
place
to live. I personally prefer to live in the
countryside
.
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has an identifiable structure with introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, there are opportunities to improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them. Transitions could be used more effectively to guide the reader between points.
task achievement
While the essay addresses both views and provides a conclusion, the development of ideas is quite basic. The supporting arguments could be expanded with more detailed explanations and specific examples to enhance the response.
lexical resource
Lexical range is limited. The usage of vocabulary is quite repetitive and general, which can be improved by including more varied language and using synonyms to express similar ideas in different ways.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors that impact readability and accuracy. More attention to subject-verb agreement, prepositions and the correct use of articles would enhance the grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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