Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there is
growing
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a growing
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tendency for
people
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in urban
areas
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to prefer to move to rural
areas
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. I
am personally agree
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personally agree
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with
view
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the view
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that living in
countryside
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the countryside
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will have its advantages. Everybody knows that living in the countryside is what most
people
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want to do. The benefit of living in
the
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a
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location that has a healthy environment is that the air is better than in the
city
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due to
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the condition of the area. Another special consideration in
this
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case is that the location is far away from the business district where the
people
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work
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.
For example
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,
people
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who
work
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in the
city
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must spend a long time on the way in order to arrive
in
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at
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their home. The other reason is that
people
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in the country would better manage
the
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their
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stress. The
people
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who live in the
city
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have a probability of getting stressed more because of the pressure in the enterprise. It can be argued that
people
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who live in rural
areas
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are happier and more comfortable than in urban
areas
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.
For instance
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, the
people
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in the big
city
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have a risk of getting a disease
such
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as stroke or heart disease because the
work
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environment needs them to push themselves to get it.
Consequently
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, the
people
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who
work
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in the
city
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need to control themselves. In conclusion, I believe that the
people
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who live both in the
city
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and
countryside
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the countryside
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have a consequence of their choosing. So,
people
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should know their motivation and goals for their lives and what the best choice is.
Submitted by nazhif27 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states both views and include your own stance more explicitly. The essay needs to balance the discussion between living in the city and the countryside.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical progression of ideas could be improved by creating clear and distinct paragraphs for each view. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be enhanced to ensure the ideas flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to express comparisons and contrasts between city and countryside life. Avoid overusing simple words and try to demonstrate the use of more complex lexical structures.
Grammatical Range
A greater variety of sentence structures could be used to showcase grammatical range. Aim to include compound and complex sentences and employ a mix of sentence types to articulate your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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