some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one. Give reasons for your answers and give relevant examples from your experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Is it right to say that the use of mobile

phones

Use synonyms

schools

Use synonyms

should be completely banned? As a matter of fact, many a man more often than not believe that restriction on using mobile

phones

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schools

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is a constructive development.

While

Linking Words

few reckons that it has downsides

also

Linking Words

. In my opinion, handheld

devices

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has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a lot of perks if they are

using

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

correctly,

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

it can be the

time

Use synonyms

killing discovery. The upcoming paragraphs will shed light on having cell

phones

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pros and cons with suitable

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

. To start with, cell

phones

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are not known as the world in the pocket for no reason. It is an inevitable fact that by having mobile

phones

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users can feel they have access to the all over world.

Similarly

Linking Words

, by having

internet

Add an article

an internet

show examples

connection to personal

devices

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students

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will feel like they can access all types of knowledge within a few seconds.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it helps them to understand the course modules by providing not only visual effects but

also

Linking Words

advanced knowledge.

Change preposition

For

show examples

examplify

Correct your spelling

example

, in Japan most of the

schools

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allow children to bring mobile

phones

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to study the

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

concepts of their course material and

as a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

93% of these

students

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pass their program without taking study drop.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is constructive development to take mobile

devices

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at educational institutes. On the

loggers

Change noun form

logger's

show examples

head, mobile

phones

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have the drawbacks of

time

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killing. Predominantly, If mobile

phones

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are not

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

used by

students

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for study purposes,

then

Linking Words

there is a tendency

of using

Change preposition

to use

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

in a negative way. So school teachers complain

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

higher authorities to

banned

Change the form of the verb

ban

show examples

the use of mobile

phones

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because

studets

Correct your spelling

students

are majorly engaged towards social media activities. They are more fascinated towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reel creation and uploading content on the internet.

This

Linking Words

procedure

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

a lot of

time

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and distracts them from their studies as well. India is the epitome of facing the negative consequences of allowing

students

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to take mobile

phones

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schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

. More than half of the youth were inclined towards getting overnight fame on the internet by posting their videos on Tiktok during the pandemic;

due to

Linking Words

that government banned Tiktok in India.

Therefore

Linking Words

, usage of

such

Linking Words

devices

Use synonyms

should be under surveillance or completely banned in

schools

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. To recapitulate, without any doubt, it can be asserted that when mobile

devices

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are used by the productive mindset,

then

Linking Words

there will be a revolution in the education industry which leads to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

economically stable society;

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

mobile

devices

Use synonyms

are the

Use synonyms

time killing

Add a hyphen

time-killing

show examples

weapons for

students

Use synonyms

Submitted by knavdeep3011 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the paragraphs by organizing ideas in a more cohesive manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and adequately tie together the main points.

task achievement

Ensure that the response fully addresses all aspects of the task and provides clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples. Develop a stronger and more focused argument for or against the restriction on mobile phones in schools, with consistent and relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

418 words

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some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one. Give reasons for your answers and give relevant examples from your experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Employment should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A faction of people holds the notion that juveniles should be independent from their parents, others argue that they must be supervised and controlled by their parents. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and express my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?