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Band 4

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#peoole #cities #place #countryside
Undoubtedly, in the modern era, many argue that living in a
metropolian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 area
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benefits.
However
, a rural area has
also
 many positive sides and living there
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been becoming more popular year by year.
This
 essay will justify both sides of the trend. First and foremost, it
sensible
Add a missing verb
is sensible
show examples
to conclude
 that citizens in huge
cities
 have many advantages. There are much more
opporunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
people
 who have high
ambitious
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ambitions
show examples
.
Admittely
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
, the best
univesities
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universities
,
such
 as Harvard or MIT and
Correct article usage
the headquatters
show examples
headquatters
Correct your spelling
headquarters
 of the top companies, like Google or Microsoft are
concentnrated
Correct your spelling
concentrated
 only in huge
cities
. By
this
, it appears that, if a person
want
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wants
show examples
 to be rich ,it will be necessary to live
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
cities
, because commuting to work
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 always
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
as well as
 possible,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
 some regions in India.
On the other hand
, despite the aforementioned benefits, rural areas can be attractive
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 different groups of
people
. In today's world big
cities
 are polluted, noisy and overpopulated.
Due to
 these
demeris
Correct your spelling
demerits
 many
people
 decide to live in the countryside. One of the reasons, it has enough space for everyone and it can be seen beautiful landscapes, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significally
Correct your spelling
significantly
declined
Verb problem
reduces
show examples
 stress.
Moreover
, for some
cathegories
Correct your spelling
categories
people
, like artists or someone who has worked remotely are absolutely unnecessary. Many of the artists have taken their inspiration from small towns and villages, because of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own unique atmosphere. In
conclucsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is impossible to decide which place is the best for living. There are both have two sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a coin. It is said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the best place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 is
there
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 you can feel comfort and stability
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next day.
Submitted by roker123456 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more clearly presented. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points.
task achievement
The essay needs to address the task more comprehensively and provide clearer and more relevant ideas to support the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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