The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home or work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?v

#amount #traffic #cities #people #travel #home #work #education #v

Nowadays, the crowded megacities and

traffic

congestion in them

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

become a big problem for citizens to deal with. Some experts believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

fewer individuals utilize

transport

vehicles for their daily routine the freer spaces would be on

streets

Correct article usage

the streets

show examples

. In

this

essay,

although

there are a few problems with the approach, I will explain why I agree with the solution. The human population is growing

with

Change preposition

show examples

a high rate globally.

Consequently

, the demand for more shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

and education facilities is rising. With

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

more cars and

transport

vehicles available compared to previous decades, people are getting used to

this

way of

transport

Change preposition

show examples

an unstoppable rate.

As a result

, the streets would always be busy and crowded.

Thus

, many social experts suggest that if it

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

not

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

mass car production, cities would definitely be

more quiet

Replace the words

quieter

show examples

and less congested. By expanding digital ways of communication and transportation, humans could enter a new era in which except for necessary situations nobody would look for

transport

vehicles.

For example

, online shopping in many developed countries has significantly decreased the tendency of individuals to buy

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

in person.

Thus

, there is

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

need

for going

Change preposition

to go

show examples

outside of

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

and using cars or busses.

Moreover

, ambulances and police personnel could easily move and do their duties as fast as possible in a

solitude

Replace the word

solitary

show examples

space.

On the other hand

, there are other ways which should be considered too.

For instance

, developing new facilities for transportation which use other passes like Tunnels and even airborne taxis could be effective too.

For example

, Elon Musk,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

well-known entrepreneur is working on underground tunnels and fast railways in Los Angeles City in order to overcome the immense

traffic

of the city. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in many cities all around the world are suffering from

traffic

and the issue is growing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every day. From my perspective, investing in new ways of communication and transportation between humans combined with developing advanced and different routes for

transport

could solve the

traffic

issue

once

Rephrase

apply

show examples

forever.

Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and follows a clear and logical structure.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choices.

grammatical range

Try to use complex sentence structures and a wider variety of grammatical structures to showcase a higher level of language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home or work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?v

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Due to the availability of fast food nowadays, many people have low-quality diets. What problems can this cause? What can governments do to resolve these problems?